An Open Book

Oh golly, there were alot of deleted first sentences to this one. I wrote alot and canceled them all. Perception is reality and that's always a good thing writing on the world wide web (still love that term). I remember an old friend first getting AOL, going out for Taco Bell and coming back to it loading up for a great night of internet exploration, on their part I guess. I was always ambivilent about it- why not call people, why not go out to see them or send a note through snail mail? For a short time, I thought I was naive and old fashioned, now I have been confident for years that it was a definite personality trait that I thought it was uncool to just email people for contact- long live the personal letters which I still send to family and friends with artsy stationary and real stamps ;)
On another note until more blogs about more altruistic themes like do gooder causes, green tips and websites....I feel I have been picking on things and need to in return list my own personal flaws in order to make clear that I don't think I am without work to be done.

For example- I don't like lazy people. I need to work on this. It's hard for me to feel sorry for folks who collect some paycheck from the gov't when they haven't worked two jobs at a time like I have three times. If you want reality checks, I can list those jobs for anyone who asks. I worked weeks and weekend jobs, sometimes day into evening jobs to pay for my car, rent,etc and sometimes I still had problems. But I never applied for gov't help. I think that is totally embarrasing (for me).
Flaw- intolerance to stillness, inactivity or uselessness. Some might call this downtime or relxaing. When I have nothing to do, it kills me. I am so happy to pull weeds, wash our cars, take care of any business that needs done, now instead of later. Later is when we can relax and have fun!
Flaw- letting go of physical appearance- this is not about gaining weight but rather about deciding Old Navy t-shirts are a daily uniform for life and missing so much my old skirts, high heeled sandals and nails. i am trying hard to keep up with those now and am much happier.Little things mean alot if it suits your personality. I used to dress up all the time for work and miss that alot! Can't wait till I can do it again...
Flaw- not just letting other crazy people express their ideas (which I have heard alot) without thinking they are crazy people with crazy ideas. This sometimes is due to the fact that they also do not want to hear any other opinions (trust me on this one) but would rather come off as the more "intellectual" type while I smile and think they are crazy. I need to just let them talk and let them think they have the floor. It makes everyone happy and then the night can continue in a good way.

Flaw- that 's all the self mutilating for one night....I can't do anything more on this topic. One can only be so humble and for those who know me, I know you read this...you know I'm reaching in more ways than one.

I've always been an open book. Maybe that's why I read every night even through those long college nights and before- reading like having a nice gourmet tea and dinner before bed, filling myself with ideas to add to the pot. Being an open book can lead to some pretty dramatic times in one's life and sometimes it hurts. Mostly, it's liberating to be so open. I feel another good night of reading coming on....