Beware the Placehookers

Now that officially Facebook is starting to wear out it's welcome with users (according to ultra-hip predictors of this type of thing, usually friends of startup CEO's who are really just trying to get us to pay attention to other new trends that their startup CEO friends are creating..), it's time to have some fun with Facebook. Truly, Facebook is nothing without its users, to let's have fun with Facebook users. I am one, so I'm included, and will mock myself too. Let's begin:

Facebook Furbombers: These are your FB friends (aka "fbf") who during the weee hours of twilight push about a zillion pictures of maimed, dying, needy, big droopy eyed, pleading, sweet looking animals that need adoption through the fb world for all their friends to see. So, when you finally make yourself a cup of joe or hot tea or Red Bull early in the morning, you turn on your FB and are smacked with dozens of images of these sad images to make you feel guilted in adopting or otherwise enraged with outrage (FB is great for outraged people). These friends mean well of course, it's their platform for showing us what they care deeply about. Sometimes, one person's midnight crusade becomes another person's morning image of total bad reality.

Flirtbookers: Ohhh, the flirting that goes on in Facebook. Across thousands of miles, new and old friends, send zany messages that are meant to delight, tease, anger, depress or perhaps contain a little nugget to stroke your ego. Ohhhh, the ego. Your deadly little devil friend. Every time that old boyfriend "likes" something you say doesn't mean he's dreaming about you. However, from what I can sense, there's alot of mutual admiration going on and some serious emotional relationships built all the time. Some stay in a comfort zone of trust- like "hey, we might have gone out before, and I know you actually are very smart and attractive and charismatic, but we both seem to know its all good now, and we can communicate, even tease, without it ever going anywhere.." But sometimes, after the fbfs have had a martini or two, there's some serious sexy poems sent out to the interwebs, just knowing they have a secret place to land, and usually not on the one they sleep with every night. You can tell...just pay attention. It's their little flirtbook land, and they "like" it that way! Back off.

Placebookers: these are the fbfs that constantly need you to know every where they are checking in. All the time, not just for that cool trip to Nepal they may never get to do again, or some great restaurant they are hooked on..but the ones who let you know that they are at the local co-op getting produce, the CVS for meds, Publix for the buy one get one deals, the playground with their kids, and home at 4 pm. Some would probably "check in" at their bathrooms but some innate sense of FB decorum holds them back. Placebookers - now you know, where they are...all the time.

Facehookers: yes, i'm just making this up as I go along cats and dogs...Facehookers are the friends who love to post pictures of themselves. But we're not talking just any pictures. I mean some seriously seXXXy pictures that don't have full nudity but that would definitely send their teenage sons to therapy if they ever saw them (it's not a matter of if anymore, but when..so be careful). These are the friends who are great looking, and they KNOW IT. And they want you to know it too. And all their 600 friends. The tan, the chest, the nails, the hair, it's all perfect and that goes for the menfolk too. Facehookers- living la Vida Loco on the Facebook stage.

Ok- i have to take care of some family business time has flown...oh look I didn't even get to pick on myself. Imagine that. Ok - I'm sometimes a do-gooder on FB and probably make people roll their eyes, posting stuff that interests me, posting pics of my family, love love love crass adult humor, get annoyed with those that are too sensitive about every little issue (the world has too many issues and that stinks), I love to tease my FB friends who know my sense of humor and whom I trust to "get" what I write, I like to keep in touch my old girlfriends, learn from people, ask advice, and post annoying political stuff I find funny, because politics is damn funny, every year it gets better and people get more uptight. But, that's a tangent. this isn't about tangents but something very serious. Facebook. Reach out and touch someone now, because FB may be an embarrassing trend in our rearview mirror in a few years, and those shots of your tight chest will be there...waiting for the perfect moment to strike back.

So she’s a mom. So what?

So true..stop defining women by how many and if they have any children. having children is a huge event, a huge decision, a huge choice to make - but it does not need to keep defining the heirarchy of a woman's success. I get so tired of women I know, who should be truly confident in themselves, making snarky comments about other women who do not have children (for example "wow, i wish I had time to take a day off! or.."wow, I'm work full time and have two kids, I can't imagine being able to come home and not have to make them food, change diapers, etc..."). This type of comment is sometimes said in an intentional, nice way, but mostly it comes with a dose of direct zing aimed at putting the other woman down. On the other hand, the media right now, is having a love affair with women athletes who have children. You, know, because women are supposed to sacrifice one thing for another- it's our matryism that makes us women- right? Because, you know, if we could only do that one thing we're really good at, AND make some money (professional athleticism) AND have children- well that would be too much and what would we have to complain about or make ourselves into martyrs over? No- then the media would have to focus on that other "new" phenom that is happening - OLDER women athletes- you know..the ones over 40 who are just incredibly fit and it just never happens these days..you know women living longer and (gasp) being active and fit?

No, let's just leave the women alone and eventually they'll realize they cannot do everything they love. That would be expecting way too much.

Hey Media - i think another celeb couple has just broken up. Leave us women folk alone in our red tents.

So she’s a mom. So what?

Church

I can not handle it when people say "oh, it's just a few bad people.." and then keep giving their hard earned money to organizations (such as churches) that cover up rape cases in order to keep up their reputation. I do not believe one's "Faith" is presented by how much tithes you give to a church 'business', rather it is a private conversation and journey between you and your God, if you have one. If you don't, perhaps you are better off, not being burdened with the guilt and embarrassment of seeing so many of your religious leaders being hauled off the jail for offenses they perpetrated or covered up, sometimes for things that went on for years. Perhaps, it is time for people to finally hold their religious leaders accountable, just as they except their congregations to be accountable and atone for their "sins' through confession and gifts of money. I have no tolerance for this, and have for many many years questioned the odd relationship between celibate priests and church leaders (including youth group leaders...) who place themselves in some higher order, and who constantly need to work with children. Children have their parents, and I would question anyone's motives to need to be around young children especially alone, in order to provide some type of church service and to make them feel secure in the church "family." Stick up for your children, and let them always know a "church" is just a business, always has been, always will be. It attracts those looking for answers, looking for positive relationships with others, but it has always attracted those who are weak in their hearts and souls, and who use the "church" to feed their egos (haven't we seen alot of that lately?), to have clear confirmation bias, and worse of all, to prey upon people who are lonely or perhaps see the "church" as their way out of life's tough issues...leading to more victims. Life is precious,and children need their parents looking out for them and to remember that it is not Fear that may protect them from church criminals, but Intelligence. Be smart, keep your kids close and your eyes open.

Prison for enabler of “monsters in clerical garb”

Behold it's the Hipster Olympics

Is a trend getting "old" when there is an Olympic or "festival" made about it? No matter how ironic it is? I vote yes, but people will always be making fun of hipsters either ironically or not, because they invite attention.  And there's no a damn thing wrong with that. Go enjoy your PBR and play faux Atari on your ipod for a while, youngster. Life is too short to care what anyone thinks about you anyway.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/21/living/gallery/hipster-olympics/index.html?hpt=hp_c3

"But that's not the weird part..."

Hello cats and dogs, how is your eternally hot as heck day going? I spent an hour puffing away at the gym and everyone there looked like puffer fish, all puffy huffy, irritable and full of salt water. Anyway, our great nation is full of stupid people doing stupid things. other nations have stupid people too, but who cares about other nations- GO USA! we're the Best! Go #1 and kick US butt! So, in your down time, please read and internalize this story below on Gawker's site. I enjoy reading, as you know, and sometimes instead of Yeats I enjoy reading the comments left by people on these sites. After reading this awful story of hillbilly drama, i had a chuckle from commentor who called this article "Appalachian Free Verse". I love that phrase! Can't take credit for it, but word fun is just the ticket after a crazy day like today. And after reading this thoroughly yucky post about horrible people doing nutty stuff to each other. Enjoy...and GO AMERICA!!!! And, yes, at least for once this story did not take place in crazy ass Florida. Land of the meth mobiles, pill mills, go cart living, youth group ministers who really like kids, Bible thumpers who threaten lives, Williston, and Ocala. (the middle of FL is the worst, except for Orlando which I haven't spent much time in but my college roommate is from there so it must be pretty ok. plus one time a UCF football player picked me up at a party - literally walking around with me over his shoulders, and somehow my butt ended up mashing into the drywall of an apartment, it was so funny my face hurt from laughing, seriously, it was funny but you had to be there.)

http://gawker.com/5926490/nashville-man-shoots-and-beheads-his-adoptive-father-but-thats-not-the-weird-part?comment=51024930

shacking up at the storage units

Before I get into regaling you with tales of reunion craziness during an upcoming update, let me bring it down a notch or two this morning. I have it on good authority from several people I know who run during the early morning hours that there are people living in storage units in our fair city. Now, this has probably been a solution for many of our fellow men for years now. Since I have had the privilege of living a life surrounded by walls and a roof, this option has never been one we've had to consider. However, next time you're out and about remember that there is a whole underlying civilization of people who are barely hanging on. These folks leave their storage units during the hot hours of day, to return very late with storage doors half open to let the breezes in, probably hoping for just a few hours of respite and rest. This is not the Caymans Holiday Inn, though, and these situations are probably a daily stress of fending off thieves, cops and other people trying to survive. These are the campers of twilight, the hangers on of the lower middle, the last resort before tent city off of your nearest interstate (we have a huge homeless pop here living in tents near our major highways, so prevalant that it is a huge glaring problem, obviously they would surely rather be working and living in dignity but who is paying attention?) This is not a moral fairy tale for you to consume in wistful sadness or guilt, but more of a gentle reminder that as we go about our tasks of nice living, there are those who live among temporary shelters,  with no windows and only one door out.

it's a big ass shark please watch this video of Myrtle Beach folks fishing off their vacay home (in brackish grassy area of inland).

http://gawker.com/5925198/big-ass-shark-unexpectedly-swipes-fish-off-sc-girls-line-like-something-out-of-a-movie?comment=50861156

let me correct my last post. I have lived away from our dear mother County for a long while and have had the challenge of hearing other people's general perceptions of this dear mother County for a long long time. In fact, we were all blessed with some of the best and brightest teachers any child and young adult could ask for. My AP and general education classes were taught by imaginative, hands on, highly educated folks who never once let us think we were not set toward some higher expectations. I have friends who have become women fighter pilots (among the first), many Ivy league grads who are still friends of mine, physicians, professional musicians, therapists, wonderfully intelligent parents, professional athletes, sailors, fisherman, environmental scientists, writers, yoga instructors, professors, counselors, museum presidents, marathoners, state representatives, state senators, teachers and any other possible platform of human ability. We were never rednecks, but wow are there some who wish that was an easy title for people from places like ours. I am glad people don't know how to peg us. I am glad they don't understand the multi-layered place that is the upper Florida region. It's amusing to hear them talk, try to describe, and think that everyone there has hoods in their closets and flags to burn. Let's wish them well on their journey into ignorance. We certainly did not have one. 

toddlers and ale oh my!

I thought this was a well written article stream of thought style...enjoy for now. I will be back to write more now that our travels are done (for this week). I went to a high school reunion recently and wow what an experience that was. Must tell you all about it using anonymous names and all that fun stuff. Not that I would make fun of everyone, indeed it was a surprisingly pleasant weekend! As I should have expected, my old classmates were classier than i remembered, smarter than I remembered and not quite as rednecky as I remembered..I guess we "aged -up" quite well. I am so proud of us...sniff sniff. So...stay tuned for more posts tonight and tomorrow, my friends. article below- enjoy the hot weather and I will dream of cooler football weekends to come today while doing errands with two kids and trying not to sweat the small stuff!

http://jezebel.com/5922472/i-have-a-toddler-and-this-is-what-goes-through-my-head-when-someone-asks-me-to-get-together-for-a-few-beers?comment=50517470