Excerpt from "The Road" from Cormac McCarthy

This is from one of the final paragraphs from "The Road". Please read it sometime. For a modern novel, it changed my way of thinking about writing. His other novels were just as brutal, beautiful, and hard. ("All the Pretty Horses, "No Country for Old Men").

"She said the breath of God was his breath yet though it pass from man to man through all of time."

He is the modern version of Hemingway- although to give him credit-not copying Hemingway at all. In this time, in our time, his novels stand out completely. I don't have the time to read alot each day- perhaps one hour at night. Most of the time, I read old poetry books, new anthologies, and forensics mysteries that are best sellers (Kellerman, Cornwell, JD Robb) that are given to us by the bagfull by a very generous family member. These novels are well written, sometimes deep and have alot to offer. but it is fun to peruse the fiction sections of modern novelists for the literature of our day....and Cormac has it down to a science. If you ever read anything in your life, read some of his novels.

You may hate them, or you may fall in love. Just like some of his stories that have been made into film...it's not for everyone.
Enjoy!

What's amazing to me is how many so called "progressively liberal" men HATE Sarah Palin- I'm not talking poke fun at, or mock or disagree with her political views. I'm talking a very deep seated- woman hating kind of hatred that is very much at odds with their "peace love and happiness" message.

It's just always bothered me. It's sexist and backwards. But of course, they would never see themselves that way.

I was watching a show about how the Scottish "plaids" were outlawed for so long by the British, and I realized, yet again, how much our family's history (one half French/British, one half Scottish/Austrian) has to do with our modern behavior. Some people don't like this concept, for it accepts the fact that our past has alot to do with our future. I would submit, after learning so much about my family's history, that one's ancestral movements, behaviors and historical background has much to do with our grandparent's and therefore, our parent's own relating to ourselves as children.
I find nothing negative about this thought process. It makes sense.
I have been worn out today- when my husband came home, I drove to a local causeway and ran into the wind over a bridge (i have always had a deep fear of bridges that still makes me get the chills) and worked off some calories. Came home, sat out in some very nice post- front breezes with no skeeters and determined that life was good.
You can tell when I'm tired. My writing is super lazy and my thoughts are all over the place.
I am currently doing online workshops for LCUP and am looking forward to working for a United Way affiliated program again. It will be a good subpart to my life and I wanted to find something I could do for others even after a career gets started again.
See? What a tangent!
Good night, friends! Hope you all had a great Monday. The way I see it, all days are special and every single day we are here should be the best we can make it. Sometimes, lately, I feel there are not enough moments in the day to express the love I have for my sons and family members.
Time is short...

ponder

How do you see yourself? How do you want others to see you?
Or, like most of us, do you think you do not care about that, yet subconsciously roll through life with both eyes forward yet your third eye looking around warily?
What do you want to be? A father, a mother, a good person, a teacher to others, a leader?
Do you like to climb or do you enjoy the glide? Do you welcome change or does it scare you?
Whom do you admire?
Who envokes fear in your heart? Is it characters on tv, in books or the criminals next door?

Who do you remember from your past you would love to see again? Do you wish to hear their actual voice again sometime before leaving this good place?
Do you share of your private thoughts with close ones, or do you leave them wishing they really knew you. Do you keep your self to yourself?

With what things do you surround yourself with that make you really joyful? Do you walk into your home and find peace? Would you accept change based one another's desires?
Will you like yourself in the morning?

Would you like to reinvent or improve upon...

What do you love.
Who do you love.

Tori

Tori Amos is currently playing in the background "Total Eclipse of the Heart":- anyone who knows me knows very well how much I have always loved her. I still have the special edition of a vinyl (record) edition of "Hey Jupiter" that I still play on my Zenith record player...need to play that thing more often. I have vinyl of Paul Simon, Peter Gabriel, and about 20 newer others. Love them , my little friends. It's not unusual or weird to think of artists who happen to play music as your "friends", after all- they bookmark major events, they begin your loves, they end your journeys, they sing while you drive to Walmart, Target and all the other crappy places we have to endure. Through it all, I can endure anything if some good Johnny Cash, Tori Amos, or even the cheesy but lovably strong vocals of Journey (anyone ever think of PC when they here "City by the Bay"? I do!
How songs carry us along, and although us hipsters collectively "hate" pop music, it's the modern version of radio/net waves that bring us new sounds to add to our musical daily soundtracks. What did pre-modern man do before this version of sound? They probably sang it all themselves...how envious ASCAP and BMI would be :0 Sorry Adj....

The problem with Facebook, is that your thoughts, tiny windows of streaming consciousness a.k.a status updates, posts, notes or other little actions are only a small part of our huge daily lives. Things get misunderstood, taken out of context and some of the time, your friends grab something you write and take it in another direction- this being the normal human thing to do-to relate something to your own lives. "It's all relative" should be it's motto.
Also- enter at your own risk.

little things

I was going to write something meaningful, something deep, something with a sense of hip-ness, but then about twenty minutes ago, my son Dominick walked out into our living room like a towheaded apparition and announced he needed to go potty. This has been a work in progress for over half a year. He's getting really good at it, and we're very happy for him.
Life was getting easier, until he decided that getting up and telling us he needed to go potty was a great ploy to staying up just a little later. This time, I laughed outloud for the first time, giggling uncontrollably as he turned and grinned at us, knowing his plan was working. Going to bed at 7 has worked for a very long time. Only now, it's not dark at 7 pm. Most days, he's tired from school and it works out. This week, I saw his wheels turning and his mind using the excuse for potty time (with no outcome) as an excuse for getting out of bed.

"He's your son" my husband of 7 years says.
Yes, yes he is. God bless him. He'll play dumb when it's fun, but he'll play games when he's bored.

Yes, he's my son. Jude may be our golden skinned, smiling, bonny McMullen (Scottish) boy totally from my mom's side of the family, but Nick is the mix of my father, my husband and me- defiant, stubborn, mischevious, and always the devil's advocate.

Having children is the craziest thing any human could ever decide to do. Really. It goes against every common sense thought one could have. But it's a decision to take on with one hundred ten percent open arms, or else you never ever catch up.

Sometimes, we need to catch up. Parents have to do that at times. No one ever tells you how hard it is. Maybe some people have it easy- I don't know, have no way of comparing really. I never know if other moms are telling me their truths about raising their kids or if they are sugar coating things like people do.

Kids are hard, but they are amazing creatures who reflect ourselves. They need us to stand up for them, to teach them, to remember our own childhood fears and joys.

And- to know that the "potty" years won't last forever...only a few more years of Walmart and I will never step foot in that place again!!

A piece of me.

The smell of desperation was thick. The shop was full of human odors not used to being all in one place. There was the scent of mildew, cigarette dust, body odor, and even a faint smell of something not quite identifiable to the woman. It might be cigar smoke or maybe marijuana. She had a flash of some long lost memory, some day long ago.
There was a struggle in that room- smells of human living, used and old and not wanted, fighting the false scent of Lysol spray. The spray did not work well. Everything she saw, from VCR's to hunting rifles seemed to gleam with a sticky sweet layer of air freshener. No matter- their former lives still shone through the plastic, wood and vinyl.
She stepped forward, red toenails gleaming and heels clicking, announcing her walk to the counter. Several baseball caps looked up, peeking at the out -of -place shopper.
"I have some things you might like to look at."

This is the third paragraph of a short story I wrote about 6 years ago called "Invasion of a Well-Heeled Woman" - no, it's not about myself, because I don't wear red toenail polish, only green, blue, orange or purple. I have alot of stories I love to play with like little mind games. It's good for the soul and good for me.

Sometimes, writing fiction is so liberating that I would dare suggest that everyone should try it. It has nothing to do whether it's "good" or "bad"- I mean to whom? Who cares? You should try writing a good first sentence sometimes....

words are one of our true freedoms.
Write people, write!!

clearing something up

on an earlier post, I wrote that Hemingway wrote with "devisiveness"- I meant "decisiveness"- BIG difference. Since I write this blog on a continuing stream of random things, I usually don't go back and correct items, I just correct them in a later post.
Like this one.

Choices (not the George Jones song)

Today I am making a few hard choices. And that's not fun. But it is Friday, for my former life as a career person those meant something big. Now, I like them because it means family weekend time with everyone.

Choices. If only I was an soul-less animal who things simply happened to- then I wouldn't have this huge headache from thinking.

Being human is not always fun and games.

I am blessed, grateful for the life so far, the adventures, the fun and the future is always a golden path.

But for right now, in this conscious moment of the present- life is not fun.

In about 10 minutes I'll be over this, and our plans for the evening relaxing outdoors will begin.

I cannot wait.

Girls need their girlfriends. That's really all I have to say tonight, yes it was such a busy day that until about 9pm tonight I was able to actually sit. That is common around here. I love being busy but today was a ball buster.
I love my girlfriends. I love my sons, and my husband more than words. Having only about 3 people who happen to be female that I can really trust and who really have my back without judgement live far away but we have the best understandings and therefore the best relationships. Read into that- I have alot of "friends" like most people but there are a few who I know so well, who know me so well that our conversations pick up like it was 20 years ago, and sometimes they are.
Those are the people I value, at times, the most. In most people's lives there are those friends I would hope. Sometimes the people that are around us the longest, and are from our past are the best mirror for our own questions and for themselves.

Girlfriends are the best. I relent, I admit, I surrender- my best peeps are those who knew me even back when I was 14. What a wonderful feeling, and how comforting to know that we are there for each other.....

Hemingway is my hero.

"Once upon a time there was a lion that lived in Africa with all the other lions. The other lions were all bad lions and every day they ate zebras and wildebeasts and every kind of antelope. Sometimes, the bad lions ate people too. They ate Swahilis, Umbulus, and Wandorobos and they especially like to eat Hindu traders. All Hindu traders are very fat and delicious to a lion."

This is not offensive, this is the beginning to one of the best shorts by E. Hemingway I have ever read. Read it sometime, read some of his other stuff, you'll be amazed if not grateful (like I am) or offended. He did not write, in his time, to be offensive. He wrote from a very masculine place (he was a man after all) of devisiveness and utter unrelenting truth that I have always admired as a writer. My stories, I realize lately, very much follow in this path- a very straight forward yet not simple story of behaviors and their consequences, sometimes with a sense of humour and sometimes with a very sincere purpose.

If only more people would read Hemingway's novels, and shorts, perhaps they would get that the problems of the human soul have always been there. Not just now, after some tragedy or some elected officials' claim of triumph over tragedy, but that those "smaller" stories happen all the time- not always to some Hollywood ending.

Life is black and white at times, and that is what I love about Pappa Heminway- his stories don't mince the truth.

Smells

Do you ever notice how much scent affects your life? On a deep level, smell affects our buying habits, our behaviour towards other people, and our general happiness. It's one of the senses that we don't really notice "working," unless we are purposefully doing something like putting on perfume, cooking with really good garlic or noticing our pet's odors. I would submit that there are certain scents that make a body go "ding! ding!"

These are some of mine:

The smell of rain- even that weird ozone smell gets me going. I love new rain. I don't like the smell of hot pavement with rain on it, but love rain falling on grass, trees or any natural place. Wonderful!

The smell of good food, but especially grilled food- this doesn't have to be meat, but I do like the smell of outdoor cooking. It seems natural, and always tastes really good if not overcooked.

The smell of a clean car- I'm weird about this. I clean our car with AmourAll once a week because our trips to the shoreline tend to leave a lingering bacterial, salty, dirty smell that is not like a fresh picture of sand and sun, but rather a smell of dirty feet, sweat, and sand this is a tad human tainted.

The smell of sunscreen or tanning oil- even though we ditched the oil years ago, the smell of the preparation of beach going is like crack to an addict for me. love it! always reminds me of PC a little, too and old memories of long summers on the beach until midnight and taking my Tercel to sandy spots it wasn't made for.

The smell of a really good perfume or cologne- I am old school. I love a good personal scent that is perhaps man-made with some natural elements thrown in. I love expensive perfume made with real oil from roses, jasmine and spicy scents. I have always liked colognes on men, some not so much, some way better. I love Polo Black, most Calvin Klien scents and love my Chanel #5. Nothing like pulling weeds all afternoon, changing diapers, doing dishes and spraying some Chanel on before sitting outside with a nice glass of Pinot Noir. Classy? Maybe not, but it's a very nice moment.

The smell of coconuts, lime, or a any other fresh cut or peeled fruit- when I peel an orange and the kitchen smells like it- that is paradise. lovely! I have put lemon on cloths when possible and wipe down my counters for a true natural cleaning and it is like heaven.

The smell of fresh bed sheets- there are not many things better than going to bed with newly washing sheets and pillows. So easy but such a nice thing to enjoy. I had a roomate in college once comment on how I washed my sheets so often and I was like look- this is my heaven- to go to sleep after reading for an hour on the freshest bed in town. She probably thought I was crazy, and I was alright with that. Good books deserve good readers who are soft and smell like fabric softener.

The smell of babies - I relent, I must admit, a very good smell. They smell naturally good, their bodies full of life, no disease, no unhappiness. It is true, they smell very very wonderful!

The smell of a night after dancing- I am always happiest after a big night of dancing, this is how I met my husband and this is how I will always see myself, among other things. The sand between the toes, the sweat and the natural high from dancing the entire night. Somehow we manage to still get that done every now and then. It is my outlet, it is my personality in a nutshell and it will always be the best scent of my world- the scent of fun, faded perfume, suntan oil, dancing to all kinds of music and cheap beer perhaps. Yuck? No way! It is the best smell in the world.

Truman Capote Tribute

"Yesterday afternoon the six o'clock bus ran over Miss Bobbit."

This first great sentence of a wonderful short story is from "Children on Their Birthdays". You'd have to read the rest to understand, of course. I found this gem in a cheap thrift store paperback called "Stories of the Modern South" which include shorts from Welty, Warren, McCullers, O'Conner and Faulkner, among others.

I have always been a fan of great southern lit- one of my universities offered it and it was a wonderful class that offered more insight into the authors I had already discovered by myself at a very young age. I remember in junior high/middle school getting annoyed at the slowness my "AP" teachers taught literature, thinking- we are already there- just show us some things we may have missed. Sometime they did, mostly they didn't.

If you ever want to learn more about good Southern Lit- read Faulkner (for some old schoolin), read O'Flannery for the weird, dark Goth stuff she's so good at, then read some Ellen Gilcrist and Robert Penn Warren ( they made a movie with Sean Penn called All the President's Men- not a great movie but better novel). Eudora Welty my UF profs pushed on us, but I find her very safe and not very exciting, a good writer non the less. Truman Capote- well anyone who knows anything about politics or journalism know what he did. It's not up for discussion. Katherine Ann Porter is one of my favorite female writers of the recent past because she was so prolific you can actually not like some of her stuff and like others- I like to have that choice.

If you ever read Patricia Highsmith, whom I have blogged about before, let me know. She is crazy in a good way. Best writer, yet disturbing. She wrote "The Talented Mr Ripley" and it's really good sequel that John Malcovich did in a movie. But her other stories- whew. You need a night to recover....for real, and it's fiction. She is not a Southern writer but so talented that I have always collected her works.

happy reading!

An Open Book

Oh golly, there were alot of deleted first sentences to this one. I wrote alot and canceled them all. Perception is reality and that's always a good thing writing on the world wide web (still love that term). I remember an old friend first getting AOL, going out for Taco Bell and coming back to it loading up for a great night of internet exploration, on their part I guess. I was always ambivilent about it- why not call people, why not go out to see them or send a note through snail mail? For a short time, I thought I was naive and old fashioned, now I have been confident for years that it was a definite personality trait that I thought it was uncool to just email people for contact- long live the personal letters which I still send to family and friends with artsy stationary and real stamps ;)
On another note until more blogs about more altruistic themes like do gooder causes, green tips and websites....I feel I have been picking on things and need to in return list my own personal flaws in order to make clear that I don't think I am without work to be done.

For example- I don't like lazy people. I need to work on this. It's hard for me to feel sorry for folks who collect some paycheck from the gov't when they haven't worked two jobs at a time like I have three times. If you want reality checks, I can list those jobs for anyone who asks. I worked weeks and weekend jobs, sometimes day into evening jobs to pay for my car, rent,etc and sometimes I still had problems. But I never applied for gov't help. I think that is totally embarrasing (for me).
Flaw- intolerance to stillness, inactivity or uselessness. Some might call this downtime or relxaing. When I have nothing to do, it kills me. I am so happy to pull weeds, wash our cars, take care of any business that needs done, now instead of later. Later is when we can relax and have fun!
Flaw- letting go of physical appearance- this is not about gaining weight but rather about deciding Old Navy t-shirts are a daily uniform for life and missing so much my old skirts, high heeled sandals and nails. i am trying hard to keep up with those now and am much happier.Little things mean alot if it suits your personality. I used to dress up all the time for work and miss that alot! Can't wait till I can do it again...
Flaw- not just letting other crazy people express their ideas (which I have heard alot) without thinking they are crazy people with crazy ideas. This sometimes is due to the fact that they also do not want to hear any other opinions (trust me on this one) but would rather come off as the more "intellectual" type while I smile and think they are crazy. I need to just let them talk and let them think they have the floor. It makes everyone happy and then the night can continue in a good way.

Flaw- that 's all the self mutilating for one night....I can't do anything more on this topic. One can only be so humble and for those who know me, I know you read this...you know I'm reaching in more ways than one.

I've always been an open book. Maybe that's why I read every night even through those long college nights and before- reading like having a nice gourmet tea and dinner before bed, filling myself with ideas to add to the pot. Being an open book can lead to some pretty dramatic times in one's life and sometimes it hurts. Mostly, it's liberating to be so open. I feel another good night of reading coming on....

love and marriage

Matt Damon ( the actor, in case you knuckleheads are going to be all pretencious and act like you don't know who that is) recently said something like this "I don't believe marriage is natural..I think it's hard for humans..I think it's unrealistic to be with someone for that long..." Some tabs thought this alluded to some impending divorce from his wife and new children, but closer sources say they're just fine - and whose to say his wife doesn't agree- Cuz I Do!

Look, marriage has had a long history (of modern man) that upheld a strong child centered household (gotta teach those kids how to pick potatoes, fish, hunt, gather, reproduce when of age in order to further the family tree...). It's good for that, and useful for many religions - not picking on Christianity but including modern religions like it, and it, that support a moral compass that revolves around a long term, committed relationship between a couple capable of reproducing (male/female). Some of this was in order to breed more Christians/Muslims/ etc etc..not being picky but saying it furthered causes and beliefs also. So- all was good for mankind, and even having a few wives was ok (ahem- Mormons) as long as there was a marriage bond.

Marriage, as Oscar Wilde put it- kills romance. We all know this- married people joke about it and single people keep that little flame of info alive every time they think they might pop the question. The problem isn't that we don't know that romantic or erotic love comes and goes in waves, but rather how to deal with it actually happening. How to deal with the expectations we put on others, the promises we keep track of, the spiritual connectiveness that we may feel has fled the building.

I don't put all my stones in the basket that physically, we are incapable of monogamy. I think most of us could do that, without trying or even thinking about it, even in this modern world of internet porn, texting etc. You can always turn those machines off. However, the heart and brain are always on. Those are the machines that need attention. I believe marriage is not hard because of the vague threat that you may be sleeping with the same person for 40 years (oh- how I hope!) but rather that we stop protecting our spouses and start projecting our disappointments onto them. It's so easy to do. To get annoyed, irritated or frustrated because person A put their life's dream on hold so person B could get their perfect job. Or- person B is annoyed that person A always leaves their stuff all over the place, and has a better car.

It's always the small stuff that can ruin a marriage, and it doesn't need to. Why do friendships like the ones i have hold up over 20 years? Because I accept who they are- yes, i get upset at times at other's percieved flaws- perhaps their callousness, perhaps their overdramatic lives, perhaps their i.q. is so low i can't even relate anymore (jk!).But with spouses, after that big fancy wedding some people have, no wonder they get disappointed. Who can live up to someone else's standards? Who knows how to properly fold the towels, how many times to let the cat out, how to wash dishes, how to mow the yard? Most of these things we only learn from our own parents, and that's enough drama for one therapist!!

Lesson learned or maybe to consider- love is not a goal, expectation or plateau. It is. It is in many different forms, any given day. It may seem like hate sometimes. Really. I don't think this is bad, it just is showing you what love is when not attended to.

Love, JLM

what ails me

I have put my finger on what bothers me so much about the past two or so years politically. I have said it before but maybe in not such a precise way. It is this- I have felt personally judged and attacked ever since people decided it was "cool" to hate Bush, and therefore [they] defiled and wrote off anything that any other candidates (besides the major Dems at the time- Clinton, Obama...) had to say. A direct result of this mindset was that anyone who didn't love Obama or "respect" what a great woman Clinton was supposed to be must be a dinosaur hating, prairie skirt wearing person who was just so out of touch that they must not know what the new hip thing was in the USA....voting for a minority of course. That's not directed at most voters, I'm talking about the little group that when you ask them why they voted for Obama, it's all about the race. That's a different story.
Back to trying to be short to the point- I knew Obama wasn't going to the a great uniter that some thought he was...even way back when he wasn't high in the polls. He was too divisive, even though I believe some had false hope in his untested ability to "unite" the country. I feel bad for that vast majority who seem let down, for how can one man overcome such negativity and fear festering in his own party for so long? Or in both partiest- to be honest? Or in the other growing parties which I am very excited about -for the country's sake, not my own. Any extra party to add on with serious concerns is wonderful right?I think so!!!

Ok, not so short. Not succinct. This country's too big for a few paragraphs. My UF journalism professors are probably having heart attacks by now at all the angry media on television, and the internet is even worse if you see certain sites.

Keep your head straight, your heart clear, and think before you vote. Good advice....good night

Cheap thrills- and not you what you think that means

thrifty tip- tear out any and all magazine scent- ads you find. Put them each in individual towel, washcloth, t-shirt, clothing drawers. You'll get a nice fading scent of some designer label on your clothes -for free (if your zine was from the public library like mine are - about 10 cents each magazine). Even if it's some cheesy celebrity label (Paris Hilton, Tim McGraw, Britney...) they usually smell nice enough to stick somewhere. It's easy, and they aren't strong enough for anyone to tell if they're Dior or if they're Dion (Celine, that is).
Unless you're me, I can tell- but that's because there is a part of me that has always kept up with high fashion for the design aspect, I used to pencil draw my own designs, and I still keep up with the latest perfumes. I have always been a big fan of smells. I love my Chanel #5, not for it's fame, but for it's actual smell. I wore it in high school, as my friends can attest. I smelled like an old French granny for years until moving on to others. Now, I'm back to it, being an old American mom. Anyway, the tear-offs are a thrifty way to keep all your underlings smelling like something besides detergent....

and we all like to smell nice, don't we?

Thrifty is Nifty

As a result of our commitment many years ago (before kids) to being uber thrifty about certain lifestyle choices, our family is well -off. Instead of living on credit like alot of people we know do, we actually have some bank, that we tend not to talk about too much...except on here of course :) We have some peace of mind, and I am always amazed at some people's desires for things they don't need, yet cry over later ( a four bedroom house, a car payment, name brand stuff for their kids, high end grocery products, etc.) Then, all they talk about is how broke they are- and they wait for us to agree. and we don't. cuz we're not :)
However, I have tried many times to share our thrifty ideas...sometimes people think we're nerdy or just cheap and that is just fine with us! These days, it is hip to be square.

Tips:

Auto-We bought a used vehicle about 4 years ago that will be paid of in one or so...our other vehicle, a much sought after sports car (trust me, there's alot of people that love these things, surprisngly), has been paid of for years. When car # 1 is paid off, we are keeping it until the wheels fall off. Car #2 has been all over the country with us for 7 years (it's a 94), and we fix most of it's problems in our own driveway. Advice- don't get new cars (of course), and don't keep racking up car payments...that's alot of cash each month to put away.

Cleaning- save old cleaned sock, t-shirts, clothes for dusting, disenfecting,etc. Don't buy those "deals" at Costco or Super target (what a shopper's addicts dream that is!) for 8 paper towels packs. Just use what you already have, throw in a dirty clothes pile in your garage (or in an old box) and wash once a month with very little detergent and cold water.

Wash Cars- at home. Car washes use more water than most people do in their driveway...I uses as little water as possible between hosing down and rinsing. Currently we are on water restrictions here due to the low aquifer levels and mild rainy seasons. However my entire adult life i have washed my own vehicle- it's responsible, un-lazy and you save at least $8 each time.

Baby / kids stuff- I get very amused when some new moms actually go to those "Baby's R Us" stores for their kids. For the past three years, we have never bought our children anything at that store or a "Toy's R us". A few times a year I'll pick up some summer sandals at Walmart as needed, and of course the diapers and food accesories, but only bare minimum. We are lucky to have family members give us some things we need for our kid's entertainment and clothing, and my own mother buys almost all of their toys and clothes at kid's thrift stores, and I am so proud of her for doing so. My kids have never wanted for anything, except a good nap. Phillip and I always provide what they need to be happy without going retail, and it's a good lesson for them to learn.

Beauty- you can dye your own hair, do your own mani/pedi can't you? Why would you pay a stranger to shove intruments under your cuticles? yuck! My indulgence when I worked full time and paid for it myself, was a nice organic facial at the Aveda spa in PC (in St. Andrews) which i loved. I have been treated to a few day spa packages due to my somewhat fantastic birthing experiences with both my sons, and that's appreciated. But I would never spend more than $50 maybe twice a year on a good facial or massage. Most stuff you really can do at home...

Landscaping- Do it yourself, never pay someone else to mow your yard or plant your own flowers! Gardening and yes even mowing the grass is free therapy, it burns calories, you get fresh air, and you fingers actually tough some real dirt. It's what we come from...and where we'lll be anyway down the road, so may as well stick your fingers in it.

Art- make your own art. Paint a canvas, look at Lowe's.com for DYI decorating ideas for headboards, birdhouses, wall art...Why would you buy something for $40 ( like my cute yard signs) when you can do it practically free? And it's a much healthier feeling doing it yourself rather than buying it and regretting the lost cash later.

Weekly Challenges- we have fun with this- pick a week or a two day block in which every one in your family or yourself spends absolutely no money (credit or cash). Before this, fill up the vehicle's gas, get your groceries and get prepared. Make all the meals at home, make your own coffee, no sodas at work, etc. you can save so much money doing this, trust me. Then you'll the money to do something fun later when you have paid your bills and have a better peace of mind.

Hope some of these inspire you to think of some ways to save some cash.....

Good advice part 2

sometimes I think we (in general, not all of us, not all the time) relate our good times and bad times to other people or families. This is not a good idea. If we could, life would be better if we only lived our lives without any input from well meaning friends or family who although well intentioned, do not really know what's going on. This said, those people are crucial to keeping us balanced, to feeling loved, and they let us know that someone cares. Also, it's important to offer the same support to others, even if you think they wouldn't ask for it. If we lived in a bubble, then our worlds would not self sustain, but merely pop from their own weight. Philosophy, or family advice?

I have always been a big fan of isolationism (personal, not political, although the two sometimes intersect). This is just an adjunct of my own beliefs, a big being that you should take care of yourself, and not expect others to take care of you. It's a big deal, and important. I don't like people who get "unemployment" yet who have never taken two jobs at once, like I have done three different times. three, not two. I think laziness and excuses are the most degrading part of humans which leads to other more nasty things and personality flaws i cannot stand.
That said- be well, work hard, reap the rewards, feel proud, and be ok with making money and being successful if it's all in a good way!

good advice

When life seems like it really really stinks, don't worry, it will only get worse. Or- if you think of it like I do sometimes- when life is really really good, don't worry, it will remain really really good in your memories after you've deleted all the bad crap.