Happy List

Since it's been such a freakin gorgeous morning and our son is napping after running around the beach from 8:30 am until 11...I'm thinking of things that make me happy and one of them is sharing...

1. good dogs
2. the Panhandle of Florida
3. Grandparents and their histories
4. Ironstone California Symphony (white wine) & any Pinot Noir
5. people that have an awesome sense of humour
6. friends who are succeeding because they tried hard and I watched them make it...
7. seashells and sea creatures
8. Tennessee -- always nice to remember vacations in Gatlinburg and Knoxville
9. old college friends who knew you after high school
10. friends who are still like family
11. medium rare t-bones
12. fried oyster po-boys with tartar sauce and a cold Corona with lime
13. clean kitchens after dinner
14. un-asked for help with kids from someone besides your husband
15. opinions that make you think
16. smart people that I can admire and learn from
17 . good live music venues like the old Cajun Place or Hawk's Nest in PC (or all those cool joints in Nashville)
18. boats- any kind that floats
19. fishing
20. tent camping on cold nights
21. outdoor fire pits
22. writing
23. a good manicure
24. fresh strawberries
25. homemade smoothies
26. Chik-fil-A
27. the smell of Play-dough (salty!)
28. long days of summer
29. short days of winter (good for card playing, snacks, martinis and Scrabble- in that order).
30. Retired neighbors who always wave at you
31. The movie "Swingers"

a little help for your friends

I don't usually post alot here about charities and green information simply because we are inundated with that type of info all day on the net, news and in general. However, out of the goodness of my heart here are a few cool things to send your junk when your family (like ours) piles up in the garage with nowhere to send it.

sportsgift.org- nonprofit that gives sports gear to 40,000 underprivileged kids worldwide every year. This also accept larger donations from schools and professional organizations for uniforms and coaching equipment. This would be a great thing for your child's sports team to do together after a softball or soccer season. Send soccer balls, basketballs, volleyballs, baseballs, running shoes, shin guards, cleats, etc. call 949-388-2359.

rebounces.com- restores the ball's bonce then sells them at a deep discount for use at practice. this cuts down on landfills full of tennis balls. Also, balls beyond repair are cut up and used as scratch and noice preventers on the bottoms of school and hospital chairs and desks- practical!

joniandfriends.org & cbmus.org- send orthotics like crutches, wheelchairs, canes, knee braces for disabled adults and children in over 100 countries for disabilities and war injuries.

(Thanks to Oprah Magazine for this information)

It always give us such satisfaction when we give (anonymously) to our chosen charities each year...but I am always burdened with that nagging acknowledgement that it never feels like enough. I guess every bit does help, though.

tata for now kiddos...

Some 'maters are betters than others

During a little party we had last night with a mixture of family and friends from Phillip's work, my Mamaw sat down with two plates in front of her- one orange, one blue- both with a small but bright red tomato sitting on each plate. One had a napkin around it like a dress, and little embellishments around it to bling it up a little. The other, sat solitary and confident in it's simplicity and strength of character. Mamaw sized each one up, asked for a knife, cut them into pieces and proceeded to pinch the pieces to check for ripeness and sponginess. Next, she slowly chewed a piece of each, taking her time and ignoring our offers of palate cleansers like water or smelling coffee beans to make it a truly fair comparison.
Finally, she put the slow agonizing wait to an end and announced, "I think this one would taste best with mayonaise."
In the end, Mamaw picked Phil Roger's tomato over our Uncle Moe's tomato in a serious family competition that has sprung up between the two brother -in-laws who grow their own garden vegetables. Thus began the Memorial Day celebrations at our house last night, and though they ended surprisingly early (around 10) we did have a ball and are always proud of those family traditions we get to witness on certain occasions.
Maybe a little platinum chain on the 'mater wouldn't hurt next year. A little bling makes all the difference to my Mamaw...or was it really the flavor?

If you ever forget your parent's old phone number, they're probably under Nick's butt.

Let me explain: most of you who came by my folks house in King Point during our high school years may remember my art desk- a little wooden desk, previously my mother's, that was covered with signatures, random quotes, silly musings, song lyrics, and various items- all drawn with a colored marker of some color over a nice white paint job. My mom was probably never happy about that. It was a tradition over the years for my friends to stop in and write something on my desk, and I would also use it as a bulletin board of sorts to jot down phone numbers, important dates, and any other item a young girl finds important. My white phone sat nearby, ready for those important life-line phone calls, before cell phones came around, we would call our friends every day after school, then go meet to drive along Thomas Drive, or make plans for Friday after a football game.
I have been blessed to keep this desk with me since those days, and it is currently being used as the diaper changing table. I use the drawers for baby stuff, as my own pens, oils and address books and stationary are better suited high and dry from little hands. For the past two years, our Nick has laid his baby bottom on the changing pad strapped to the top of the that desk, much to my amusement. We never did buy a big nursery furniture set- why bother since soon we'll have little men, not babies in that room. So, we painted white shelves for toys, books, cd player for classical naptime music, and put together a room that looks pretty well "put together" and done in a blue ocean motif.
Except for that art desk. I checked it out this morning, laughing at the random musings from old friends. Here are some of the various items that have lasted since at least 1990:

• "Class of 92 rules"-- this is written by my girlfriends all over, many people who were so darn proud of being from that class. Were we not having the time of our lives- most of the time?
• "Cheerleaders suck"- this was probably me, not really recognizing the writing and I was generally an anti-cheerleading type who ironically had lots of best friends who were cheerleaders. Go figure.
• "Jane says...I'm done with Sergio"- my cousin wrote this while visiting from Clearwater one year, she also being a Jane's Addiction fan.
• " ATO rules"- this being from a boy I dated long distance (when were they not? It always made things much simpler and romantic) who LOVED his fraternity. He was a nice kid, and left me autographs all over my desk to remember him by.
• "AGAJ- this was a very obnoxious but cute name four of us gave ourselves in case anyone really cared. You know who you are. We were responsible for toilet papering many boy's homes in the Cove and King's point in retaliation of course.
• Signatures from KT G (miss Gillard), Darryl White, Ashley Hartsfield, Katie Ekman, Jalon, Amy Wilkes (my mom has a good friend with same name- not the same person), Christy Bourne, Amy Litt, Adria, and many others who are now famous in their own time.
• Ever so important phone numbers that I remember jotting down as soon as I came home from school- from memory or from a piece of paper someone had passed me in a hallway. One of them written only once, slightly faded, but at the time was a truly big deal- started in 234 and the boy lived on the beach. Hmm...could be one of many students who had a 234 number who lived on the beach, right?? Only I know whose number that was, and as it fades in time, will have that girlish memory of those long lost phone calls.

As this little desk holds up under my son's behind, I am contemplating rescuing it from our second son and putting in my art room near the keyboard, guitar and canvases to once again hold my collection of letters, mail, and random household items. I have thought about repainting it to pass down to my own children like my mother did.

but then I think... no. It's got way too much fun history on it that can never be collected on one spot again. Besides, how else are my sons going to learn about their mother's history in high school- it's all there in writing and so much more amusing than pictures.

a day of remembrance

While my child scoops out oatmeal for dinner with his hands like a caveman, spoon thrown on the floor, I am saddened to report that today I had to get out maternity clothes and wear one of them- shorts. Yuck. Only weeks now and counting till I can burn them all in a modern day altar to the end of my pregnancy days forever. Belly bands are so uncool, in my own opinion of course, I don't care how one spins it. This is what one must do in order to give birth, I suppose- you have to actually get pregnant and stay that way for nine months and just deal with it.
Hooray.
If you see a bright glow in the sky and ashes floating around like lightning bugs, that's me burning our clothes in our copper fire ring out back in a few months. You can smile and know that somewhere, out there, Jennifer Lynn is celebrating her new son and also- her old body.

excerpt for the day

I found this while revisiting one of my Best American Short Story compilations I've gotten every year since "91. This one, form 2005 edited by Michael Chabon, was written by Tom Bissell and is named "Death Defier". It is a short fiction about a war journalist in Afghanistan, including a misadventure with some newly elected "generals" in the remote parts of Central Asia, and his growing emotional withdrawal from all that he reports. I loved this excerpt:

" 'There really were, Donk thought, and thought again now, 'two kinds of people in the world; Chaos People and Order People. '
For Donk this was not a bit of cynical, Kiplingish-wisdom to be doled out among fellow journalists in barren intercontinental barrooms. It was not meant in a condescending way....Chaos People, Order People. Anyone who doubted this had never tried to wait in line, board a place, or get off a bus among Chaos People. The next necessary division of the world's people took place along the lines of whether they actually knew what they were. The Japanese were Order People and knew it. Americans and English were Chaos People who thought they were Order People. The French were the worst thing to be: Order People who thought they were Chaos People. But Afghans, like Africans and Russians and the Irish, were Chaos People who knew they were Chaos People, and while this lent the people themselves a good amount of charm, it made their countries go berserk, insane. Countries did indeed go insane. Sometimes they went insane and stayed insane. Chaos People's countries tended to stay insane.
Donk miserably pulled off his do-rag, the bloody glue that held the fabric to his skin tearing from his ruined eyebrow ....
'So tell me, Ahktar. What are we supposed to do here?'"

Thank you, Mr. Bissell, for your little nugget of great fiction writing from one journalism student to a real-life war journalist who actually went to Central Asia and reported first hand his own experiences in Men's Journal.

So I'm not the only one who feels this way

"We really are living in the age of the idiot, aren't we? Most people are so comfortable with their ignorance that common wisdom is no longer wise. My new rule? Whatever course of action everyone else agrees on, do the opposite."

AMEN.

This quoted from Michael Bienes, one of Bernie Madoff's early partners, during a Frontline interview while trying offer explanations of how Madoff could pull the wool over so many people's eyes. Bienes is not under investigation for any wrong doing (so far).

A/C D/C and me

This morning while the stereo played in the background, Nick and I had some great moments together drawing, playing hide and seek, and lounging around waiting for the afternoon to come so we can revisit the beach. Usually, we have a mix of cds playing according to our mood. Today, I flicked on whatever radio station I could find that seemed to have a good classic rock/folk mix (not all Ozzie, a little Dylan thrown in) on 102.5 here in Tampa area.
What starts playing in the bacground that slowly enters my consciousness??
"Big balls" by A/C D/C and what a song it is!!
"Who's got the biggest balls of them all? I've got big balls....he's got big balls..." you get the picture.
After laughing to myself and having trippy flashbacks to high school nights where sometimes all you ever heard at parties was that flambouyant Australian rock band or Steve Miller Band, I got up and turned the station.
Uh-oh. Censorship has begun. Cover your ears son, there's some crazy music, poetry, literature and movies out there. Not to mention people.
Now, we have on a jazz and blues mix with some Sarah Brightman thrown in - because it's nap time.
Who can go to sleep to "Thunderstruck" or "Immigrant Song"???
Jeez. Being a mom can be so lame. I've got to find my headphones.

The mommy world becomming more open...

Thanks to writers like Ayelet Waldman, whose new collection of essays is titled "Bad Mother" there are tons of new books for mommies-to-be that offer a new look at motherhood that is without all the sanctimonious "my child birth was perfect and you did it wrong" mentality that was so popular the last 10 years. Finally, some mothers are being honest about their not so perfect childbirths, their trials with nurturing, their run-ins with other people's bad children, and dozens of other little things that happen when you have a newborn. Finally!
Don't be fooled, there are many many mothers out there who would never in a million years let you see them sweat, or admit that their own child was a hellion to raise at some point. There are still those eye-roll inducing moms who like to "share" their motivation for breast feeding in public and or offer advice like "breast is best" to those who may not do that particular thing, and those moms have serious issues. Mostly, it seems, they just think they are always right anyway so that doesn't change once they give birth. Also, they assume that other moms may not have heard this information, or that they are just to ignorant to try it. That's assuming alot. Many mothers try breast feeding and it works out fine, but it's not the business of any other mother to inform a new mom (who has enough to think about) how good it is to let it hang out all the time. That is a doctor's job. That's just one of a few mommy issues under fire lately.
Another issue that has come up in recent blogs and new books is that so many moms have set a standard so high that other moms feel less than perfect to a point of dropping self-esteem. I am seen this myself- and have been a part of conversations that included advice from one mom to a newer mom that wasn't really helpful advice- but more like preachy rhetoric from some new age book rather than a real friend. I sadly chalk alot of this up to a competitive nature that forms when women group up together under stressful situations- it is always happening and it holds women back from truly helping each other to be better parents, and to be better people. Some moms talk about how they have a perfect husband, a perfect home and they might be one of the ones I personally envy that found a way to work somewhere professionally while having a new little one. Look closer under the hood- those are the ones who feel the need to brag for a reason. Maybe their little junior is that grifter stealing your kids' toys when they come over to play (I have had this happen to me and it's really awkward to get them back) while their parent looks the other way, or they get violent with other kids because they do not get enough attention.
Other topics that are being loosened up on by "fed-up" moms are caffeine intake while pregnant, vitamins while pregnant, bedtime schedules, sleeping with parents or not, strict birth plans (we dont' have one this time from experience), and all kinds of educational topics and codes of conduct that have been vigilantly followed for years now. The point is to follow your own instinct, and your doctor's advice and to not see other moms as the "end all" examples to follow as other moms are just as clueless in the beginning as their own newborn...to a point. Natural instinct kicks in, but every household environment is so different that those instincts will follow along a certain path that is your own special creation- you and your mate's!
Whatever the case, no parent is perfect, because no human is perfect. We all know instinctively to keep a safe household, how to take care of our children and it is ok to ask questions- I did alot with our first one to whoever I could, and it really helped. I am just glad that there are so many new books and blogs that show how different all parents are, and that is ok. It is also ok to not be happy that you're up at 6 am every day, that you miss your time alone, that you lose part of your social life, or that your kids drive you to tears sometimes ( they will, most likely). It's ok to be so tired you can't hold a conversation with your lover or husband anymore that includes music, politics or news besides vaccination schedules and recalled toys. It's ok to find reasons to give your children to someone else for a while so you can get a facial (my favorite ressurected treat), or to get upset because your new car always has food, drink spots and sand in it from children.
So, if you're ever in doubt of yourself as a new parent, know that there are plenty of people in the same boat. You might not always hear about it their problems first hand. Luckily, there is great new material out there to reach for if your gray hair just showed up from the stress of it all.
Side note: from the posts I've read, Waldman was treated with hostility by a few women while a guest on Oprah because she had written in one of her online essays that she loved her husband more than her children. Whoah! I am shocked by that! I know that alot of women feel that way, and it's natural seeing as the person you have spent the most time with (probably) before your child's birth is the person you might love and feel the closest too, whether initially or for the long-haul. For some women, it takes time to really love your new child, as they are needy, hard to communicate with, and they don't necessarily love you back right away. Ok- they love you for food, play time whatever. Really comparing the two relationships is like comparing Italian pizza to Totina's. They just aren't the same. But the way that some women need to be hostile to others who just don't feel the same warm fuzzies over babies is slightly embarrassing. I don't and have never felt warm fuzzies over other people's babies and never was a girl who liked to hold or play with little ones. So I can relate to this somewhat. Other women have looked at me like I was an alien when I declined to hold or play with children- why should I feel pressured to do something i didn't want to? Other people's kids bored me, they drove me nuts or just got annoying and I didn't like spit-up on my nice professional work clothes. Also- my husband and I have always had such a close-knit bond that it was initially weird to have a third person around- our son. For a while I was like- oh yeah- we have that new boy over there! And my heart grew bigger every day. It's just easier to raise your children without that raised eye-brow look of opinion everywhere.

New Documentary

Very interested in watching the new documentary by the great Barry Levinson called "Poliwood", in which he tries to portray the relationship between Hollywood celebrities and their power over Washington. According to reviews after it was screened at a recent film fest, Levinson does a surprisingly balanced job of interviewing his own wealthy and politically active Hollywood peers such as Susan Sarandon and Josh Lucas, without crucifying them for using their wealth and obvious platform, film, to make their political statements. On the other hand, he uses several cable news pundits to reveal how closely knitted the ties are between the Democratic party and Hollywood, and how long that relationship has lasted and succeeded (i.e-current president). Most of his celeb friends are members of the Creative Coalition (a -dare we say it- PAC or lobbyist group the represents left-wing Hollywood agendas) and are at one point put face to face with American voters living outside the Hollywood bubble during a heated but positive and passionate forum. Most of the details are listed at The Daily Beast.com this week and as I have always enjoyed Levinson's films ("Avalon" being one) and their commentary on changing American culture, I look forward to watching it as soon as it's available. As one reviewer put it, it is the first film so far to attempt a fair and true representation of how US politics works in relation to entertainment, without pointing fingers or trying to get one viewpoint across. That would be change!!!
I guess I'll have to see!

Beach babies and their moms

After another day at the nearby beach today, I noticed a few different types of moms who set up camp with their kids at the beach.

1. The "Put Together Mom"- this is usually me for only first 15 minutes until the wind tangles my naturally curly hair and sand gets all over our sheet, towels and cooler. This mom is the one who sits blithely in her chair chatting on a phone while her kids stay miraculously nearby and play without any help from her. She has a French manicure, has cute perfectly highlighted hair, has perfectly cut healthy fruit slices and tea sandwiches ready for lunch, and her kids are dressed in clothes that are unecessarily expensive for where they are at. Her children are named like Cabbage Patch Dolls- Eliza Meliss, Jackson Smith James, Emily Ashby, Ashley Rhett...
Side note- there are alot of them here, but they are very common in southern places like PC and the ATL women who visit PCB have this totally nailed down.
2. "The Never left the 70's behind Mom"- I see a few of these down here more than in Panama City Beach and Ft. Walton beaches we have lived on. These moms may have been raised by hippies and therefore adopted some of the laid back, tye-died wearing styles and attitude. Nothing wrong with that. Some of the ones I saw today have really short demin shorts, lots of silver jewelry, bandannas in their hair and smile at everyone like they just smoked a big one. Their children are named Wren, Leaf, Waif, and Golden. They are completely cool with lugging their kids, chairs, toys and umbrellas down to a spot- it's all good, man!
3. The "Older, Rough-Hewn Overly Tan Redneck Moms"- These abound everywhere. They look a little too mature but their children are still blessed and loved just the same. They bring coolers full of Miller Lite, Winstons, and Taco Bell for lunch. They are tanned like a worn saddle and although also wear short demin shorts, there's are actually from the 70's. They call out to their kids in croaky voices "Harley! Waylon! Skynard! Get yer butts over here now!"
4. The "I Have Children But They don't Affect Me Mom"- this mom lets her kids come over and terrorize your own child, stealing his cheerios and peeing on his sand castle, all the while blissfully chatting on her cell phone, then ignores their increasing cries for attention while texting for two hours. She waves at them and then lets strangers pretty much watch after them the whole day. These are the moms that don't mind if their kids ask for your child's snacks and you wonder why she wanted children- welfare does pay, I guess. Their children are named Number 1, Number 2, and Number 3 because the mom didn't have enough time in her busy texting schedule to name her kids. Plus sending naked pics of yourself to your babydaddies is way more important.

Enough for now, gotta get to the yard and cleaning sand out of the truck again.

Mexican flu days are here again...

They are starting to call the "swine flu" "Mexican flu" since that seems to be the newer, more accurate version of the origination of the flu. This stuff cracks me up. I am not laughing over the people who have died, I am talking about the news media and our government. I watched some of our higher up politicians talk about the flu on the net, and I really felt sorry for them. How do you express your sincere concern about a pretty easy- to -spread bug on national tv without making every one panic?? If they don't sound that concerned, people think they are callous and flippant about a serious issue. They just can't win, can they?
On another note, I have recently gotten into a rut withour new hometown of Clearwater. Since we have lived here last summer, we have hit every little surrounding village (Tarpon Springs being a favorite-great Greek food and wine), every beach, fished almost every fishing on-shore nook (gotten on a few boats so far and will have our own again someday soon I am sure), been to some great eating establishments, and some interesting gardens and artsy areas. We really like hearing live music so after #2 is born will be back into that very very soon. When you grow up visiting a place as often as I cam here with my family to see our grandparents, it becomes like a second home. This is the case with Clearwater- we have family everywhere- I have third cousins, great aunts, grandparents and family in Dunedin, Clearwater, Safety Harbor and Palm Harbor. Not to mention far flung McMullens in Largo, etc. The problem is, now that we've been here as a couple, Phillip and I just need to find new things to do!
We are not amusement park people - no Busch Gardens and especially Disney! Those are the last places we would spend our money for amusement. But we love live music, and new sights and sounds. Hmm...maybe I need to google some new places to visit.
One thing Iv'e realized it that when we are little people- new places seem to big, so new. And when we're all grown up- those places lose their "bigness". In fact, I have realized with humour, that Clearwater is a very small area. Perhaps, in the end, I like bigger cities better with more going on than what this beachy village has to offer....and also realize that Panama City was the only place where Phillip & I found some great great live blues venues where we could cut loose, dance and believe it or not- most people we knew there were not "rednecks".
Hmm- I must revisit our new town and start digging around for some fresh places and faces. In the meantime, the beach is always here for a nice long walk and fresh air.
Maybe we should open our own place the next few years....we've talked about it before in PC. It's very ponderous. Could call it Salty Limey's, or Salt and Lime or Jennifer's Nuthouse, or Crazy Juju's, or JLynn's Wine and Nibbles...