Theta is a great zone, supposedly!

I have to admit, within the first few minutes of a two hour writing seminar I attended at Dunedin public library recently, I thought I was being trapped in a Scientology recruitment session. The leader, a self-published writer we'll call "Mya", was dressed in long hemp clothing, drapey silver jewelry and had such a cheerful disposition that I was immediately suspicious. About 30 people sat behind long tables and we signed a sheet ( I didn't give out my email address) and were handed pamphlets in order to follow along. The reason the Scientology alarm bells went off was the information she outlined that she dubbed Beta, Alpha, Theta and Delta levels that one must understand in order to "write from the soul." Now, I had signed up for this class looking for some help with fiction, as I had been a member of the Panama City Writer's Association, and am looking for a similar group here. Within a few minutes, I knew that she was more interested in journaling, or what she termed "soul writing", but I stuck around anyway.
The class turned out to be more of a new-age, self help guide to journaling- with no obvious attachments to the Scientology cult after all. "Mya" had been through a nasty divorce, had worked in a high level CNN position for years, and had one of those mid-life "what is my life's purpose" moments that caused her to pick up a pen and start journaling her thoughts. She feels it is her goal now to help spread the word on how heart and brain healthy it is to write, physically write (not type on a p.c.). She had medical statistics on how suppressed emotions can cause very unhealthy conditions and how depression, especially in older people who always thought they had to hide their problems, can ruin a person who simply needs to express themselves.
I was enjoying this, being the only person under 45 in the room, and thought it made sense. I don't journal like I used to, but I understand the importance of being able to express one's self without fear of censorship, embarrasment, or reprimand. Furthermore, journaling is a private therapy session, and requires no other involvement. Then, Mya got into the levels of consciousness. Beta is when we are awake, alert and moving through our day solving problems. Alpha is the level during which we are relaxed, calm and "in a zone". Delta is dreamless sleep mode. Theta is the best time to write, Mya explained, as it is a level of deep relaxation, meditation and is when we are most open to new information and answers to our private issues. Supposedly, this happens to most people during those last moments before we drift to deep sleep. Mya recommended leaving an open journal and pen near your bed to write during this time.
Other tips for being in your best writing mode were to leave your room silent, no music, no television or other distractions, to have only good smells wafting through the air (no cabbage cooking) and to drink only water (no caffeine, alcohol or soda). Most of this made sense to me, and I appreciated her effort in trying to help people out with positive and healthy advice. When the session ended, she was taking money for her $18.00 book and I slipped out.
So, the next time you are almost asleep, pick up that nearby pen and write down the first thing that comes to mind.
I tried it this week and all that came out was, "damn, I can't get to sleep." However, there's always tonight.

ehh

going to see Harry Potter tonight- I have to say this series is one of the best to see on the big screen, as is the LOTR series and similar movies with great special affects and beautiful cinematography. I don't care much for movies that are just action and loudness, and try to read up on reviews before spending money on a seat. But, we are so lucky to a grandmother here for the week and are taking advantage of that to be entertained. Today I have been really tired as there was a string of nasty thunderstorms that rolled through during the night and my sleep was more like a string of naps. So without all the coffee I would like, I am trying to find some extra energy somehow. Our unborn son is kicking all over and making me crazy already. Phillip is making homemade meatballs and we're starting to make food to freeze now that the due date is near, so some extra meatballs will be stuck in the freezer later. I am writing in run-on sentences and really can't get too many thoughts together today. My sister had a wonderful baby shower (she is due in August) and it was great to see alot of our McMullen and McCarthy cousins at our house for the event. Everyone gets a kick out of seeing us pregnant together. When I got pregnant, I didn't even think about the fact that we'd both we pregnant at the same time. We were in our own little world, planning for our future, not even considering how nuts my parents were going to be with two other grandchildren within a month of each other! But they're so happy and excited about it. I do have some other tidbits to write about when I have the time and focus. One particular about a writing seminar I went to last Saturday led by a woman of the new-age field who talked about brain waves, emotional water, and deep soul writing. It was interesting and I will share her advice next.
tata for now kids.

small one for now

Listening to Jack Johnson while Phillip distracts Nick in a back room so I can eat some pretzel sticks without being harassed for food. Went to the beach this morning and the water was like glass and warm as tepid bath water. It was a very hot morning and we left by 11- a good time was had by all. Heard on a radio news report that the recession is expected to end in the next few months and we got a kick out of that. Really?? Economists have been reporting that for months now, but the mainstream media has always had a "yeah, but" to counter the positive economic news. You mean all the big bad news we heard during the last few months of the election that we were all going off a cliff in a big old gas guzzling SUV was slightly overblown? Really? never would have guessed that somehow soon after the election, the RECESSION would ever slow slightly start to fade as people slowly gained their sanity back and realized their Purchasing Power controls the economy, not the President (or past one). "Fear" will get anyone elected it seems, from any party, in our country.
tata for now kids.
Chew your cud and put your dreams in a safe place, far far away from growing Big Brother.

stuff

It's raining today- glad I got out for some alone time this week to the beach. Although it was pretty wild out there..lots of surf, seaweed and crazy tide leaving behind allkinds of cool driftwood, shells and nasty plastic trash from us humans. Looking forward to a nice night catching up on crafting stuff (photo albums etc) after Nick is asleep. I find aobut 5 good cd's on to put in our huge monolithic stereo system (circa 90's) that we love and will never get rid of, and let them rotate randomly while doing what needs to get done- a little cleaning, a little crafting, a little poking around old zines, books and items in our house that need some attention. It's so easy when you have kids to just always do 'kid stuf" and lose yourself in the routine of your child. I discovered last year that I had to find more time for me, and not be one of those people who has nothing to talk about but their child. Personally, it has made me alot happier and peaceful to rediscover the things I used to do, and to still have friends and new people around who don't have children, or at least don't act like their children are the only thing in their life. Another important thing I learned quickly is that my husband and I still need to act like a couple, not like roomates sharing a house, bills, and our toddler's daily needs. It makes a difference people!!
Someone's honking outside and our dog is going nuts so I have to go for now.
No, I didn't say someone's a honky.
hee hee- that word always makes me laugh outloud it's so outdated, crass, and rednecky. Gotta love the language we invent.

FYI

Things not to say to pregnant women

1. I thought you were further along than that! (this said to me at Sweetbay groceries last week- I took it to mean the cashier who has been watching us grow was saying I looked bigger than only 6.5 mos. my husband says no that she probably thought we were having the child earlier than Sept. Either way I smiled and said what do I look further along? and then sighed and waddled away in my personal humid storm cloud.)
2. You're young, you can try again! This said after finding out we are having a brother for Nick. No, we aren't trying again, and had no definition for our family such as we must have one boy and one girl to have a perfect family unit. First, I never even thought I wanted children, so having two is a big big deal anyway. Second, I like being a woman but have heard alot of children that so happen to be girls are more difficult for their parents. Third, don't assume we wanted more than what we are getting!
3. You look tired.
4. Gosh, I am so glad I'm not going through that again! (this was said to me by a family member as they reflected on their own blissful stage of un-pregnancy, not realizing that wasn't a very thoughtful thing to say outloud to a very pregnant person.)
5. Are you sure you're not having twins- ok this has never been said to me, but how mortifying if you're not! You can lay off the extra donuts and pizza during pregnancy and go walking like I do to build strength, but by the 7th month, you look like you swallowed a watermelon with only one so no need to assume unless told that someone's having multiples.

Do say- you look great, only 9 weeks left- that's going to fly by!, I am so excited for you, and nice things like that.
Offer to help out when baby comes like bringing some food or doing some housework while you stop by to visit. "Visiting", i found with Nick, is fine but just sitting on the couch chatting isn't my thing and it is greatly appreciated if someone would donate some energy and say "hey- let me fill up that dishwasher for you guys, or is there anything I can run to the store to get you?" The visiting part can be energy draining in itself, and when I am sitting there chatting I am already running a list in my head of all the things I need to do to catch up after being home from the hospital.
Next topic- something besides pregnancy and babystuff.

Just saying.

Men and their hidden sex lives

I wasn't going to comment on the whole Mark Sanford affair going on. Then he had to keep opening his big mouth and telling the world that besides the love affair he's had going on with some Argentinian lover, he's also had inappropriate (but not physical relationship) with other women besides his wife, Jenny. Talk about too much information. I have several points to make about these political figures and their "affairs".
What is really insulting is that he seems to think that by being a bleeding heart sentimentalist (not just a Southern horndog serial adulturer like Clinton, who was also probably a rapist) that his personal life is justified now, like somehow his leaked love letter emails give him some higher standard by which no-one will deem his behavior suitable resignation material. Unlike John Edwards, a Democratic neighbor, Sanford has come forward in a strangely proud fashion to say "yes! I had this affair, my wife knows, my sons know, and because I am not backing down from admitting my affair, then I must be the really good guy here!" Not true, Sanford. You're a dolt.
Edwards was a sad thing to watch, a former Presidential hopeful, cheating on his wife who is fighting a deadly cancer with some media groupie, supposedly fathering a child who looks just like him, and then and still denying the child is his, and his poor wife out there now hawking a book and also in denial about her husband's long running affair in some ways (Elizabeth, in interviews, rarely blames her husband for his affair, like alot of women who would rather brand the other women with the red letter A than their own husband). It's very very disgusting for a husband to treat his longtime wife, and mother to his children in such a way, and much less know it will all play out publicly eventually.
Is it the power plays, the arrogance, the different lifestyles they lead that allow these politcians to feel they can do anything without consequences? It must be all of the above. I always ask why do these men get married if they still want to date or play the field- why don't they remain bachelors and just do that?? Most people I know who got married have questions about commitment and most work through these before going down that rose-laden aisle. I think we must put some blame on our own Puritanical American culture for certain pressures put on people who want to travel the road of political ambition.
Take the case of Gov. Charlie Crist. A few people I know in Tallahassee and other sources have generally accepted that he lived a "gay" lifestyle while at the capitol, and did so pretty openly and without much strife. If the rumours are false, then they were probably started by some old opponent only to lie in wait for his bigger ambitions- such as his current bid for Senate. He got married to a nice wealthy woman (coincidently around the time McCain was looking for VP running mates), they have a big social life here in the St. Pete area, and his popularity has always been pretty high, even among (most) Democrats. So, lately in the political columns I read, the old rumours have popped up. No matter how liked he is, someone out there might not want Crist to win the Senate and the rumours are waiting now for some kind of proof. I hope for his sake the rumours are not true, only because it would mean he wasn't being truthful to himself or the rest of us about who he really is...and our country doesn't need to be babied anymore about what goes on in private bedrooms. I think we're "all grown up now" and don't need or maybe even care ( I don't ) if the person I am supporting for office likes men or women. I just call on people to be truthful about who they are BEFORE they get elected to save us all some time! But then..what would our media do without some jiucy sex scandal?
My problem with these politicians is this- in this day and age, ten years after other public figures like Ellen DeGeneres and others have come out of the closet- why would any young ambitious politician feel the need to hide his or her gay lifestyle. Furthermore- why get married in order to feel like that might be the resume builder you need to move ahead in the world of DC? According to Barney Frank, one of the few openly gay politicians around, there is still that need to portray a perfect family man image to nation in order to be elected into office- and even a straight bachelor may feel pressured to get married and have a few children before stepping into that arena. Think about it- how many Presidents have been single and/or without children? Not many, people.
It would save alot of grief for future wives, children and save us as the general population alot of our wasted time watching "gossip" news about the latest embarrassing downfall of some Sen. Craig, John Edwards, Bill Clinton or Gov. Sanford if they felt like they could run on their merits, goals, and positive ambitions for our country instead of having to stuff down any inner demons deemed "sinful" or marry the first pearl-earring wearing Brown girl they meet at a frat mixer before sowing their oats.
Gov. Sanford pulled his final straw with me when I realized his actions were those of a star-crossed lover in high-school or college, writing love notes, leaving his staff to LIE for him during four days when he was supposed to be hiking the Appalachian Trail, missing Father's Day and leaving his family and staff humiliated and answering for him for days while the press asked where he was. These actions were immature, really irrational, and those of a petulant child that couldn't make his mind up between cupcakes or donuts. I don't think this is the kind of spineless man who should be in a high office such as governor. However, some of this mid-life crisis action could have been avoided altogether had he felt he could govern without the token wife and children...something to ponder anyway. Not an excuse- just a cultural observation.