Blabbedy blah blah Part Duex

Stay with me folks, I wanted to add a few more items:

* Like the Girl Scout Song says "Make new friends, but keep the old, One is silver, and the Other's Gold". Which in my twisted head translates to "Make new friends who like to do cheaper things, don't shop all the time and are adventurous and fun. Start to put the other friends who only want to browse malls, Target and Outlet Stores just because they aren't imaginative to do other things in the world on a higher shelf, and leave them on that shelf more often, only to be called up occasionally just to stay in touch." In other words, join free writing clubs, social groups, activity oriented groups like volunteer charity groups to find new friends who don't see their life's goal as spending their boyfriend's or husband's money. (or their own!). These friends are not good for someone who is trying to grow up and learn about thriftiness.

* Quality not Quantity. I enjoy very nice things. I love very good food, collect nice artifacts and specialty items I can pass down to my kids, I love excellent road trips, live music and theater shows (10 plays not bad) singing along at piano bars with friends and even really love designer clothes and shoes (for the design, not the label - there is a difference). But I can do these things because I try to avoid the "junk" - the fast food trips (no longer an option in our house), the little bits spent at Old Navy, the toys the kids do not need, (I have been to Toys R Us twice in my life), and all the other little things that add up. Quality life is very nice. Quantity = junk, more debt, more crap to swallow you up.

* If needed, suck it up and sell it! Every now and then, we look around and find we have things we haven't used in a year or two. Then, we sell it. Instead of asking for help, we have sold vehicles and other items when we needed the money to make a better move for ourselves, and not once did we regret it. Even "toys" like small boats, 4 wheelers, etc can become liquid cash if you just let go. Living thrifty means doing what's needed now, not later. And then- you move on! We've never been without fun and adventure. We've never cried over selling something. But people cry all the time over their credit and debt.
If you need to- sell it! There's always more. That's what China is for right!! Gotta keep them in business.

* Thrifty means saying goodbye to Sam's Club and Costco. We were members for two years way back. Very small produce section and tons of salty frozen and canned foods. We used it for baby items and large quantities of paper goods. Why? What a waste!! It was depressing to see the people in line spending $300 on 12 packs of canned soups among other things like vats of salsa. Maybe they thought the end was near. Unless you own a softball team, leave the places to die a dark cave-like death. We have a large family that eats A TON but buying in bulk at Publix, through the Co-op and local produce stands is plenty. Cut ties with the Warehouse Mafia and keep all that extra money to yourself.

Now, I really have to go and tend to a near 3 year old who (just like his mama I've been told) is extremely grumpy upon awakening and needs a little sunshine.

Blabbedy blah blah

From the vault of my long and adventurous experience with Money:

I have a few easy tips on being comfortably frugal, coming from my own learned and sometimes painful lessons and some I have gathered.

Some of these are new, some are rehashed. If you recognized a rehashed item from previous posts, just think of them smothered with cheese and mushrooms and enjoy once again.

1. Groupon is not your friend. It is a "frenemy". It looks nice, dresses cute, comes with a friendly message, but is not well meaning. (i know people just like that!).
I have always deleted every Groupon inbox message I recieve. I know people mean well, but in the end, just because a kickboxing studio an hour away is going to lower it's 3 week training session by $5 to ONLY $60 doesn't mean I should do it. So...you're still spending $55 on something you may have taken the time to reconsider if this "friendly" Groupon hadn't placed itself on your virtual doormat. Say goodbye to Groupon, kiss it's grave and move on to buying things when you can, with real money you have.

2. Dilute the juice. Juice, especially for kids, is full of sugar, binders, and other weirdness. try to go natural, and do half and half- I give my kids glasses with half juice, mixed with half fresh water. Saves money, saves the hyperness, makes the item last at least one more week. another tip - I only do one "juice" item per day. Fresh fruits are the best "fruit" juice product, and fresh water and milk or soy milk adds for variety.

3. Fruit is your best "juice". A glass of orange juice for adults, is almost twice the calories and sugars of the real thing (oranges, apples, pineapples, etc). Four bags of fresh fruits is cheaper by bulk than many cartons of $4 or more fancy juices. Obviously I have a bias against juice you might say- no, it's just more expensive, processed and full of more "stuff". Ok so yes, I do.

4. Coupons are not always money savers and are usually not for healthy foods. You all know this I am sure. The coupons in the wednesday and Sunday papers are put out by specific brands (Proctor and Gamble, Johnson and Johnson, Kellog's etc) with only one intention- to move their inventory and get you hooked on spending money on them so they can further enjoy their family jets. Seriously, I started couponing and found that most coupons were for frozen, processed and packaged goods. Do I buy crackers and corn chips, sure I do! Do we buy some frozen items- sure for certain recipes. But I have completely cut out any prefrozen "meals" and also baking goods like Pilsbury. I'd rather do more from scratch. The point is, alot of the coupon items are not for whole foods like beef, vegetables, fruit, seafood or any other fresh whole items. They are for high salt, high fat stuff. Buy fresh bulk items, and only use the coupons for what I call bathroom items- toothpaste, shampoos, soaps, etc. if at all.

5. Use cash. I know everyone says this. But it works. Allot a certain amount of cash for your household twice a month, to be used for entertainment, extras and random items. When it's done, it's done.

6. Use your local college campuses- they don't care! We have lived in many cities with great universities- Nashville and this one being two of the best. Many campuses have Olympic lap pools (some for your use for under $40 per semester for non students!), tracks, open playing fields to use with your kids for soccer or just running around. Also, we have loved attending the local news/radio studios when they have live music tapings of great performances. Don't forget, many have great libraries and art galleries on site that are free to use. Take advantage and supporting them monetarily is still cheaper than A) installing your own pool B) installing your own Olympic sized pool or C) installing your own music studio for public broadcasting. Right?

7. Find the deals around town and fill up your calendar! I recently attended a wonderful ballet performance for only $20 per seat including a complimentary drink, great historic venue and classy crowd. Also, when buying music festival tickets, buy the early bird specials and don't wait for prices to go up. We have attended many many shows and it always pays to buy early, plan ahead, and enjoy the show at half the cost of most attendees.

8. Ditch the soda now. I know you are thinking how clever Miss, keep talking about health when you're supposed to be thrifty..but this is about money. I cut out soda about 5 years ago. Drinks like sodas add alot to your grocery bill and to your waist. But who cares about your waist- this is about your money! Seriously, when my husband cut out buying 12 pack diet sodas, he lost pounds instantly and it's one less thing that adds $$ to your list of food items to get.

9. Treat yourself, but think about WHY you think you deserve it. In other words, i hear alot of people (mostly women) who feel like they deserve something. Is this a generational thing? Life is work, life is finding happiness, and life sometimes sucks. Getting a $45 manicure doesn't solve your problems, and may only get you more in debt. Walking in a beautiful city park is free, as is walking on the beach. Or enjoying an old dvd with friends. "Treating" ourselves has become a big industry that alot of people buy into...and it shows on their credit cards. You don't "deserve" anything. You are blessed just by being alive to enjoy things that don't cost you later grief.

10. Don't listen to me, what do I know? For real, I have learned alot. At one point in time, I lived in a shack behind a house with my husband, with a power line buried in the yard. My parents could have helped during that time, but we would never have asked. Pride works to get yourself out of financial messes. You don't need to expect others to help you, finding your own inner resources is the best creator of real adults. by the way...that year we lived in that old shack behind a friend's house while we both worked and pulled our way out of small debt was one of the best times during our marriage. We still laugh about it and thank God every day for friends like that. We didn't care about driving nicer cars, keeping up with the neighbors or "treating ourselves" (ok I did get a nice tattoo of a phoenix) and it stuck with us until all these years later.

ta ta for now folks, I have to do some thrifty shopping for a birthday soon!

check out awesome slide show of "Hunger Games" ghost town

http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2012/03/27/hunger_games_tourism_visit_scenic_district_12_in_north_carolina.html

People are all weird. all of us. Even the trustafarians.

LOVED this post from Gawker linked below. Very entertaining and definitely could recognize people just like the descriptions in the post and in comments. Don't we all know someone who (probably due to their ambitious and well meaning pursuit of helping the world's problems), dress and act like they are one of the "poor" and "oppressed" in order to feel some type of compassionate empathy?

I do. I met alot of them the past decade. I feel for them, because I was also raised in a safe middle class cocoon of safety, nice clothes, good friends, and great education opportunities. However, it's insulting to slum around, complain about everything from capitalism to the plights of the endangered Long Island tit mouse when you have no idea what is it to be really POOR.

In order to really empathize, one would need to live in a 1930's shotgun house with leaky floors, socks stuffed into window cracks to keep warm, and have nothing but dirt and dirty clothes hanging on lines in the yard. That is what I see in the panhandle right now. Thank God I left the pristine white area of mid FL (Clearwater) and came back to the nitty gritty where I can see what needs to be done. Further, one would have to stand in lines to get free meals, free shots for their children, have to constantly look for low paying jobs, have to send their children to school in clothes they wore two days prior - these are some of the parents and children my son goes to school with. I'm glad he does, I am glad he has friends who speak Spanish and also see the other races and knows how the real world is. It will teach him that running away to live in gated communities is not how we deal with people's poverty problems.

In short order, we all try to do good things. We volunteer, hands to stone, get involved and teach our kids compassion. It is shameful that any person in the middle class ask for handouts, bailouts and sympathy in our country due to their bad choices, when kids are waiting for food. WAITING FOR FOOD. Not worried about whether or not they will live in a 3 bedroom house or not. Not worried about that fact that mom may have to lay off the Target trips. It is worse that some of us privileged white folks try to ACT poor and oppressed in order to "rebel" against our suburban roots. That is not a pro-active stance.

Be grateful spoiled children of the 1990's and 2000's. Instead of complaining and constantly expecting sympathy for your awful plight of being "well off", why not spend that energy DOING SOMETHING NICE for those less fortunate. More than just donating money, but donating time and thoughtfulness into a cause that can make a difference.

Our country needs less whiny spoiled "trustafarians" and more activists who can elevate our country's poor into the Middle without doing it as an act of suburban warfare against their parents who gave them so much.

The Middle and Upper this article speaks of, that hates itself so much is wasting their time on self pity...
If only the poor had that much time on their hands.


http://gawker.com/5896236/white-people-in-williamsburg-want-your-sympathy-too?tag=white-people

Great article link from Runner's World about the Amish and Mennonite Runners!

Even if you are not a runner, this is a great nugget of writing from Runner's World I found in my husband's subscription. The interplay between the Amish beliefs of humbleness and piety mixed with their desire to be athletic and (gasp!) have fun make for a funny and sweet piece of Americana culture. I talked to my husband about doing the Bird in Hand race someday and we look forward to running with the Amish soon!

Also, diving more into the world of running as I have 6-7 5K races to choose from this spring and summer. Very soon, I hope to do a 10K and move on from there, joining my other family members here in a 1/2 marathon and then a full one. Fingers crossed, always striving, always moving forward!


http://www.runnersworld.com/article/1,7120,s6-243-297--14236-0,00.html

The Air up There.

Inner strength to reach goals comes from the focus on yourself, drowning out all other negative people and voices that keep you retreating to a place you want to leave. I have learned alot about people the past two decades as a young adult then adult. It was only the past few years I realized that though we cannot cut negative people out completely, we can learn to tune them out, and let their bad vibes be that- theirs. I think too many people act and believe things that are really not based on their true self, but on what they think others want or see them to be. This is growing up- not doing things because of a faux persona or character you see yourself as, but growing into the person who reaches goals and lives their dreams without waiting for concensus, without asking permission, and without testing the air.

Never test the air- just do it. We did, and are much happier for it. New goals to meet for me personally and for my family. We don't ask, we do. We let go of the wondering and took risks that pay off. Some people shop then cry in debt, some people live thrifty and count their coins. Some people binge and then walk it off, living in shallow regret but never truly wanting to change. I have made many personal decisions the past 12 months and some have already paid off. In the end, it is only when you are moving towards positive things and away from the places, people or environments that drag you down can you really grow.

Grow baby grow!

In case you thought I didn't know...

I do realized the Jets are the New York Jets. Also have realized from NFL fans that most Jersey folk like the Jets and the Manhattan NY crowd go for the Giants- big difference. So, maybe Tebow will hang on the Jersey Shore and get himself a bronze tan going on.

Tebow and the Jersey Shore.

Hello my friends out there. While the raging nasty hot wind blow our lawn decor into the far corners of the yard, thought I'd write a quick note. Yes, there's a front coming over from MS/AL (isn't there always?) and of course right before this unusual heat hits the fan, the wind gets fierce while shutters are tightened down and trash cans pulled in off driveways. It's going to get bad, either that or just get annoying and rain all day tomorrow. I love the rain, but in the winter and spring usually like it because it means the temps are going to drop over night into the 30's. More likely now, drop to 65 and stay there for a few. Old man winter, wish you could have stayed alot longer this year.

In other news, Tebow got sent to the Jets. I don't know much about NFL lingo, or their players. I don't not know if this is a good or bad thing and have no context. Usually, I know everything. This is true, someone said it once, so it must be so.

Sigh. Tebow was fun in Denver, the cool athletic snowboarding crowd kind of embraced him like a shiny ironic Portlandia style symbol - "See? see? We can embrace people different than us too!"

And, he is such a nice young gifted athlete. I wish him well. I can imagine him arising from his tomb chamber each morning, crack of dawn, teeth whitened, muscles reflecting the light of a gentle Jersey sun, saying "And this is good, and shall be mine to bring forth into the world and show the people of Jersey the light and the way."

And then, he will retreat to his Jersey gym for 17 hour workouts and later sleep upside down bat style in his tomb chamber, hands folded, body swaying to the purposeful meditations going on his young head.

Or something like that. Go Jets ?

Two Houses - a short story

I have a story to tell.

In a pine and azalea laden mid-century neighborhood, a woman resides. She looks out her blinds sometimes at her neighbors, and they wave at her, but she doesn't wave back. She is usually dressed in a brief glance what looks like those mumu house dresses people wear when they just don't give a crap anymore. She is older, has big rolled hair and never smiles. One can hear her out back at night calling in her small dog, as others sit on their porch or gather up childrens' toys scattered about before night and humidity reigns.

People have privacy fences, but one always notices neighbor's behaviors. Once a day she gets into her small blue car and drives across the street and down two houses and enters another home. This home is festooned with Catholic idolatry in the yard and also in the front glassed in sitting room one can see from the road. This is not unusual in her city- Catholics rule this place like a priest in a boys' summer camp. Yards are full of praying Marys, Catholic private schools abound, and rosaries hang from every other rearview mirror. (In case of sudden ascension beads will get you in). It's odd that the lady drives about 20 yards and enters a seemingly always empty house. The yard is well kept, but never has cars in the driveway.

Recently there was a city wide yard sale that her neighborhood participated in. One of the participants is a local and like locals from a city, know about bigger news stories of the past. Sort of like how Bay County residents spin tales of old Sherriff Daffin, moonshining, certain bank presidents getting in bar fights at Friday's..that sort of thing. During this recent yard sale, neighbors gossiped among themselves. A few people learned that the solitary bath-robed lady would probably never wave back. here's why:

About this time last year, her older son went missing. His car was found on Scenic Highway on the bluffs. Now, this is a great place for dog walking and stair climbing during the day, but at night is known to be a trolling area for sexual encounters of the anonymous kind. Not judging, just saying it's known for that. His car was empty except for personal items. No body was ever found. It was on the news, and is probably still an ongoing investigation.

A local, realized that she knew this person, in a very round about, not personal way. Recalled to other neighbors him being older yet hanging out with young boys in social situations. For example, when every one graduated and went off to college, he was still hanging with people not age appropriate for a young adult growing into a man. He had many people talking about his innapropriate behavior around kids. Many parents may have gotten suspicious. One can only guess and there is no proof but those were the rumors.

He lived in that house that this sad quiet woman visits every day. She is his mother and her neighbors remember her son living there, closing connected to his mom in distance and then disappearing off the face of this Earth. She owned both houses, and is the caretaker still of each.

Now, when she travels in her little car all of two houses, and across the road, one knows what she is doing.

She is waiting.

BAD BAD BAD little Red Riding Hood

In a time far far away I promised to do some fun movie reviews. not that anyone cares about my opinion but I always enjoy reading the "critics" reviews such as Rex Reed's in the Chicago Sun Tribune, and others. Reality is, thank God, that most people don't go see a flick because someone told them to.

On that note, I am going to honor the high art of slamming films with this review of "Red Riding Hood" directed by Catherine Hardwick (director of the first woeful Twilight movie who got slammed pretty bad by fans and critics alike). That should have been my first indicator. Keep in mind, I keep our netflix choices on a constant workout- so I do occasionally pick what I call the-
"I remember this coming out last year and thought it might be funny/good/interesting" choice. Sometimes these work out, sometimes they do not.

This movie I am picking on first because it was THAT BAD> and in order to properly address the positive side of my inner film critic, I will offer movie reviews of films I consider to be MUST SEEs very soon. On with the bad...because bad is so VERY VERY FUN...

Red Riding Hood (2011) starring some waifley big eyed long haired elfin child and a bunch of men with bad wigs was really really bad. I strongly suggest instead of seeing this movie, you snort a can of mustard drenched sardines up your nose and then call it a day.

Why did I finish the movie? Why did my husband and I keep waiting for it to get better? Because we expected neato fantasy creatures out of the dark spooky woods ala Peter Jackson or Tim Burton styles. This was not that movie. Do not waste your time ever seeing this movie or for that matter whatever else that lady has directed ( i haven't so can't give any recommendations on that). You would be better off plucking your eyelashes out one by one to be beat of "Carmen" while driving backwards on a jet ski in Mexican territory than watching Red Riding Hood.

The plot centers around a girl, some creepy men, a campy grandmother, and takes place almost entirely in a single set that LOOKS like a studio stage. (it is, but can't we at least film something outdoors that is supposedly mostly ALL outdoors?) the snow looked fake, and the lighting was similar to what I see on "The Young and the Restless" (I love Y&R as you know...but their budget is airtight and based on Proctor and Gamble ads and a movie should at least not be filmed with lights attached to tall fake trees).

In fact, I'd rather watch Victor Newman the fictional tyrant on Y&R for 24 hours straight than ever see one minute of this horrible film again. Moreover, we'd all be better off in a Siberian prison with nothing but photos of Vladmir Putin shirtless and proudly holding his slaughtered game up for show to keep us alive than watch this movie again.

Just to say, don't waste your time, precious. You're better off starving on a mesa with nothing but "Young Guns" reruns, no water in sight and a tiny bit of peyote than you would be ever seeing this terrible, evil, waste of celluloid.

Have a nice day, I feel better already.

Shrooms

A bit of happy news for the foodies out there: mushrooms are very good for you.

I am huge mushroom fan, and throw them into meals whenever possible. I like them grilled, filleted like a burger, tossed with butter and garlic, fried dipped in blue cheese, baked with herbs and fresh chopped in eggs, pizza or salad. They're packed with antioxidants, B vitamins, minerals and phytonutrients (those are good for you too). The white buttons are the most sold in the US but varieties like chanterelles, oysters, portobello and shiitakes have even more nutrients and flavor.

SHROOMS - who knew fungi could be so good for you?

slice of meat

I just dropped my oldest son at school and on the way home over the hills and through the woods I heard the best poetry every laid down to notes :

Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard"

If you've never had the pleasure of Meatloaf's music in a while, please do yourself a favor and listen to his tunes once again. He's no Keats, but he's got a way with sexual metaphors and passionate lyricism that would make Anais Nin go weak at the knees. If you don't know who she is, please do yourself another favor and get a book of hers..its erotic story telling and it's BAAAD for an early century girl (girlfriend of novelist Henry Miller).


Here goes a great part sung by the female singer sharing the duet with Meatloaf:


Sung to piano tune going faster and faster, mimicking the tension of two lovers stuck in a car wanting to get down to business...


"Stop right there! I gotta know right now, before we go any further do you need me? Will you never leave me, will you make me so happy for the rest of my life, will you take me away, will you make me your wife? I gotta know right now! Do you love me? Will you love me forever..."

Piano tune them Meatloaf

"Let me sleep on it, baby baby let me sleep on it..let me sleep on it, I'll give you an answer in the morning..."

And he goes on to plead with his lovely lady to please let him sleep on it, at the same time wanting to end the tension and just "do it" in their car (they are only 17 after all)...

it's timeless, it's poetry. It's time to include Meatloaf in the cannon of American prose forever.

Emily D. and her "fly" can make room for the maestro of love. more Meatloaf please!

Date with destiny

Today I have an appointment with a shoe fitter. This is a big deal.I have been wanting to run (and walk) more but my two pairs of tennis shoes are so worn out, that the bottoms of my feet ache in the mornings..i get up and walk around the first few minutes with feet curled inward like an arthritic mountain dwarf who doesn't know how to walk on flat land. So..I am finally spending the money for a pair of running shoes over $30 (this was hard for me since I am super thrifty and don't think anything besides a boat should cost over $30)...but my husband has been asking me to get fitted for months now. My date with destiny has begun..now more achy 5k's -- a half marathon may be down the road. Who knows? the sky is the limit when your feet are happy.

If I ever make the Boston Marathon...I'll probably be shopping in the Quincy Market before the end. Baby Steps baby steps.

Southern Gothic Ya'll

good morning cats and dogs! I am still alive and enjoying the beautiful blue skies after such a long dark rainy week. I love the spring and all the bright green coming out, although fall weather is my favorite. Also enjoying the slightly longer winter months back in the panhandle and it suits my soul to have more seasonal weather than the long temperate climes we lived in for four years. That said, I am very lucky to have a family that likes to try new things, and that takes the risks we do to find the perfect "home" place.

Speaking of being back in the cradle again..I have a few quotes from a nice Southern Living article I came across from a free zine stack the library was giving away (love the libraries..always find gems).

Here we go, and please come back soon..I have a stack of stuff to write about and now that both our kids are having a "well" week, I have more time to write, ruminate, waste your time and generally wreak havok on your personal integrity.

William Faulkner from "A Rose for Emily" -

"Alive, Miss Emily had been a tradition, a duty, and a care; a sort of hereditary obligation upon the town."

Carson McCullers from "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" -

"And how can the dead be truly dead when they still live in the souls of those who are left behind?" (good one)

Eudora Welty from "The Robber Bridegroom" -

"And she would look out the window and see a cloud put up a mask over the secret face of the moon, and she would hear the pitiful cries of the night creatures."

Flannery O'Conner from "Wise Blood" - (top fave writer of mine)

"It's easier to bleed than sweat, Mr. Motes".

Kerry Donoghue from "The Pearl" -

"Harlan savored every burning drop of his gin as Jezebel drifted into the muddy Tennessee." ( a little dramatic but everything's more dramatic under live oaks and ghosts of a lost war...)

Unpretencious artists are usually under 5 years old.

Please highlight and click on link below for some very amusing and scary pictures Gawker fans sent in of 'art' they did as children. We must never forgot how smart yet primitively simplistic a child's view of the world is and laugh at the little evil genuises that run amuck our world, only knee-high.

I remember a picture I drew in preschool that was titled "Chinese people" (written by teacher, told by myself) This was probably done in some "explore the world" type project in which we learned about people in far off lands. This was also in around 1978.

Every little cute face on that construction paper had majorly slanted eyes. Every single one.

Was it done out of racist undertones and a white supremacy world view?? No, dear friends, it was done because that's how some people look to a 4 year old. Just like skin may brown or a language may be silly sounding to a 4 year old. There is no context, only subject.
Oh, if only the world were that simple in Adult Land. :)


http://gawker.com/5889779/hi-how-are-you-doing-in-hell-a-collection-of-your-most-demented-childrens-drawings/gallery/1