becomming an batty old woman

tonight, the high point in the evening has been the one hour so far of complete and utter aloneness. I am hoping for about three more. Keep your fingers crossed. Aloneness is different than isolation, it denotes an enjoyment of being singular...a One. An uno, a solitary figure creeping around your home hoping to God that your babies don't wake up do to your lazy ankle cracking walking. Let this news be a comfort, all is well, and the day was actually a very good one. It's always good when I'm outside for at least a few hours.
Tonight, I found myself turning into a batty old woman. I took a four foot long thick piece of driftwood, tied bottles, shells, a skeleton key, and an cross ornament from Honduras to varying lengths of twine and strung white Christmas lights around it- and WHALAH! It's a wonderful new decoration for our back porch. Oh, how the little things matter. Well, someone is texting me in what I am sure is an all important conference call amongst my far flung and dearly missed girlfriends from home.
Even 20 years later, we still talk about the same stuff. It's heaven.

BTW- bright moon out tonight.

how to be "unfamous" like Salinger

I love Salinger's novels and short stories. I have most of them and have read all of them several times over the last decade. I'm not going to go into how much I identify with several of his "Glass" family characters that reoccur in most of his stories, or how his style of writing is one I would do anything to emulate..without actually copying him of course!
I'm going to just observe that the reality stars, and the 15 minute celebrities that get pushed down our eyeballs everyday in the press, in the music world, on the net and on tv could really learn alot from this man. After achieving huge critical and financial success doing what he loved doing- writing- he simply dropped out, living a reclusive life, avoiding the public, refusing to do any interviews, and not having his photo taken after he turned 45 years old. Today, he died at age 91. By all accounts, even his own children, he was a egomaniac, an eccentric, a moody person who was very aware of all the Hollywood producers who wanted to make "Catcher in the Rye" into a film. He turned down Spielberg! Noone turns down Spielberg! And, recently, he sued a man who was going to publish a fictional "sequel" to "Catcher"...and won.
Take note, all you celebrity fame-whores out there...and yes, that is a new word that is used these days to describe a certain type of desperate celebrity (think, Tila Tequila). If you don't know who that is, then good for you. Leave it that way. If any of you had more than a gumball in your head and a crack rock in your pocket, you would do fame the Salinger way- going AWAY for a while, leaving the public to wonder where you are, what you're doing, and what's wrong with you..thereby furthering your mystique and your reputation as a talent. Yes, it's similar to pulling a Howard Hughes, going a little nutty and living off of your toilet paper, cigar butts and burying yourself in trash in your enormous estate- but at least people would wonder about you.
RIP, Salinger. Thank you for your wonderful stories, your unforgettable characters I grew up with, your acutely American pretenciousness, and your decades of hiding out while we shared myths about your hidden life. There are rumours that you left a file full of unpublished stories...if you had wanted them published, they would already be out there, wouldn' t they....you deliberately left a treasure box without the key.
How very "very" of you!

Walt Whitman

From- By Blue Ontario's Shore (stanza 15)

I swear I begin to see the meaning of these things,
It is not the earth, it is not America who is so great,
It is I who am great or to be great, it is You up there, or any one,
It is to walk rapidly through civilizations, governments, theories,
Through poems, pageants, shows, to form individuals.

Underneath all, Individuals,
I swear nothing is good to me now that ingores individuals,
The America compact is altogether with individuals,
The only governement is that which makes minute of individuals,
The whole theroy of the universe is directed unerringly to one single
individual- namely to you...

dear sons, do not emulate this man-

John Edwards. He is a rat-fink slimey mothball with empty cold blue eyes that make political promises but really just like to look at naked women and give them children while his wife is fighting cancer at home. Take note, my sons- this is not the kind of man I want you to be. I don't care what color, gender, religious background or planet your companion may take form if you fall in love down the road- but do not ever disrespect another human like this man has. What a creepy goofball of a lint bellied person he is!

odds and ends, bits and pieces

Hello kitty kats and puppy dogs, how are you doing? I was just outside observing the weather and it's a crazy midseason Gulf of Mexico kind of night- gusty winds, warm air blowing leaves around, cockroaches attracted to the light kind of night...it also smells like dead fish. Lately, there's been a crapload of dead ones piling up on both causeways down here, and although we've enjoyed the fun of trying to identify them, it gets a little stinky. We saw a big grouper, a large iguana and a ton of redfish up on shore. all dead. no good to catch and eat ;( These nights are weird, when Phillip works until 10pm, going in at 11 am (the night shift at the tower at Tampa Int'l)...the mornings are great- he's doing baby duty, playing with Nick..but it's not the same as when he goes in early and is home at 4 pm. Those nights, I have ALOT more energy and don't feel like all I've been doing is "talking" to a 4 month old and a 3 year old all day.
I could write about alot of topics tonight- perhaps the Republican win in Mass., the unexplained ratings of "Jersey Shore", the win of Sandra Bullock at two award shows recently ( I think she's great, but get tired of how Hollywood rewards the whole white person helping the black person out story line- it's actually racist but they would never admit that!), and how i am really enjoying my newest "Best Short Stories of 2009" anthology, which i have gotten since 1992.
If you love good fiction writers like I do, I suggest you check these out at your local library or get them asap. Short stories, are I believe, much harder to write than your typical fiction novel. Writers have less time in which to establish a plot, characters and a meaningful ending which makes the stories nice little nuggets of entertainment for tired parents, or those who like to read in chapters. In addition, many of the short story submissions that are chosen are by well known novel writers (John Updike, Ellen Gilchrist, Alice Munroe), so the quality is always excellent. Another thing that makes me happy this week is that Joaquin Phoenix finally cut his nasty growth of a beard off, and looks halfway normal now. No telling how he's doing mentally, but a good indicator of mental health is our physical appearance...think about that one.
We finally watched "The Hangover"- i am sure about a year after most people. After completing the "Tudors" which was a wonderful third season, with King Henry changing his mind every other wife about whether or not he's Catholic (I had no idea he really did this so many times), and being such a history buff- that show is incredible. The actors are great, the outdoor scenes filmed on location, and the story including true details of the men and women that made up his court and therefor influenced his decision making. The irony! He always wanted a son, but never realized that his Protestant daughter Elizabeth would be the most revered, long living Queen that England had in that time.
Anyhoo- "The Hangover" was really funny. Like- silly funny. Written by the now well known Todd Phillips, it doesn't have as many quotable quotes as some of the other goofy man/boy comedies of late (Anchorman, Old School, Superbad) but was totally a non-stop entertaining adult ride. And that's what we like- escape.
Well, I've got a literal pile of earmarked infotainment to put on this site the next few days....stay tuned. Hope everyone is having a great Sunday night.
tata for now, I must go, for my first son will be up at 5:45 wondering why everyone is sleeping and he doesn't have pancakes on his plate in the morning.

quote - for now will have to do

have to do mom duties until around 6 pm- not that they ever end, just that my life partner...lol...husband will be done bathing Nick and then I can put jude down for his first nap of the night.

"Originality, I fear, is too often only undetected and frequently unconscious plagiarism. " -
Dean Inge, Wit and Wisdom

( i think this is especially true for politicians, even the ones who convince the masses hungry for "new" ideas that their own platforms are "new", but it's not their fault. As the Bible says, "there is nothing new under the sun.")

So many thoughts, little time this morning

I'll talk for a second about me newly restarted vegetarian diet. It needs growth. I am going to spend my lunch hour (that's nap time for Nick) looking for more recipes. I have lost about 3 pounds this week living on beans, veggies, beans, whole wheat bread, coffee, tea, water, veggies, beans, ...well you get the picture. I need variety! I need a colorful life! I need lots of things going on at once in order not to get bored, in my daily life and in my diet. So...the search continues. have made some really good food this week, homemade chili, good pasta dishes and great veggie omelets. Its not hard to forgo the meat, and I don't miss it physically. I just need some more dinner ideas. I may be Irish, but I cannot live on potatoes alone!

%$#@!

I knew his name was Harry. just give a girl a chance! I don't write with Google on my back, I write off the cuff and thank God for that- otherwise we could all just read it on the AP. That's "associated press" for all you non-journalism people...that being said very tongue in cheek. My UF professors used to act like the general public were so stupid and couldn't figure things out for themselves, and I would sit in class and wonder "are people really that stupid or is it that they just don't always agree with what some bubble living professor-to-talking head journalism reporter tells them?" hmm... no wonder I always questioned things in college, they're "superior" mindset bothered me. Judgementalism is not fun to be educated under. It makes students more small minded and not able to understand as well the concept of "free thinking."
just sayin. (bad grammar!)

A Political Post- don't be scared!

senate majority leader Henry Reid has some problems- one big one is a statement he said a few years back about Barack Obama and it's all in the recent NYTimes article or any other press if you haven't heard about it yet. I have heard his statement several times over the past few days, and it is totally hard on the p.c. ears. I also agree with alot of the political pundits who say that if a Republican had said that them all hell would have broken lose. However, this was Reid who said it, and Obama forgave him- of course he did- if he didn't then, that would just open up a whole can of whoop worms wouldn't it? I loved how on the Joe Scarborough show the one self titled "token light skinned Black Guy" agreed that if Al Sharpton had become a major candidate, then the majority would not have voted for him....really? are we as the US that stupid that we need someone to tell us that a made up minority leader who has his own political obsessions might talk down to his own people in some ghetto slang in order to further his agenda? Geez...I Guess we are really stupid.
I love politics, but I detest the fact that so many "minority leaders" use the diversity issues these days to further there own personal agendas. Just be sure to look into things, further, my friends, and make your own mind up. I have a feeling that Reid's statements are more of a generational gap than a racial discrimination slur...so I'm being nice. I know that there are ALOT of people that agree with what he said, just that they knew better than to say it. But if it had been a Republican who said it- whooo.....let heads roll. These are the days we live in.

Trying to get all fixed up, only to have....

baby spit up all down the side of my neck, hair and shirt right when my husband walked in the door today from work at 4. I actually did my hair, which for my thick curly hair, means either straightening it, or curling it like some Beyonce 'do. Its way easier to do the Beyonce. Anyway, being that my man is not an "Eddie Hardy" tough guy who expects me to have a fake tan, fake boobs and all that, it's still nice to fix up and try to not look like a stay at home mother with a soon to be 3 year old and a 4 month old at home. So because he intuitively knew this, Jude promptly threw up all over me right after I have let me hair down from it's daily Sarah Palin clip-up, and so now I'm chilling after he got both kids to sleep...Jude of course will eat again around 10, hopefully sleeping until around 3 am for another feeding. I went outside to enjoy a glass of something good and look at the stars like i do often, and low and behold it's really cold out, and the second cold front isn't here until tomorrow, when it will only get around 40 each day through Sunday night. Yeah! AND, there was still a mosquito in the house, hiding in the warmth, until I tracked it down and smacked the hell out of it.
So, how's your evening? Read any books lately? Seen any great movies? Met any new interesting people in your life? It's a new year, and a nice time to try new things....
BTW, I'm on day 4 on the no meat diet. Good so far, but noticing that so many meals we ate had meat in them...looking now for lots of meals that will fill me up and not keep me hungry like I seem to be every few hours lately. def a good way to lose weight thought, the jeans are already loose after all that Christmas ham!

Found- cool website

It's freddyandma.com- it's not real cheap, it's not necessarily a "green" business all the time, but I just think it would be a great gift for a mother's day purchase or for a special woman you give about $125 bucks to and say "go get yourself a custom made handbag"...they have fabrics, patterns and hardware to create the handbags,a s well as individual designs....it's awesome, unique, and a great gift idea for the woman who definitely does NOT want what ever other woman has in the area of purses, cluthes, handbags. Not all of us likes to have some tacky brassy namebrand ("COACH, LV, or BRIGHTON) on our purse to signify that we are COOL. So- be arty, be different, support small business, buy something different.
Just sayin!

Been a while...

since I posted a good new drink to try. This one sounds good..haven't had it yet. I tend to stay away from anything too sweet but the gin/lemon part sounds spot on mixed with the other items..Enjoy
THE GIN DANDY

1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 1/2 cups gin
2 lemons, cut into wedges
1 1/2 cups pomegranate liquere..such as Pama

over heat, bring sugar and 1/2 cup water to a boil, stirring until sugar dissolves. Let this cool, then pour over ice in a large pitcher. Stir in lemon juice, liqueur, and gin.Ladle into glasses with lemon wedges. serves six.

Nature Girl, Or...Call of the Wild

"I do not count the hours I spend
In wandering by the sea;
The forest is my loyal friend,
Like God it useth me. " -Emerson, Waldeinsamkeit

All I have to say to that is hear hear! or some of that old world slang. Isn't it amazing how the geography and climate around us affects our moods, even if on a less conscious level? You may think that because I am "at home" all day, which is not true... to the contrary out alot during each day...that I just notice every little thing. But this has always been. I can remember the chilliness and salt in the air from a first date or a night out with my friends in my hometown like it was yesterday. Also, the hot humid long days of summer, when my hair would grow curlier by the hour and my feet hurt from so much dancing. Another memory- the biting winter air of Gainesville, FL...where most people think it never gets cold, but does! And then, all the places I've lived and how each special moment (like my husband's proposal) is further marked by the temperature of the air, the wind, the amount of stars or sunlight that was out, and how wonderful it is to have always have Nature as my guidepost to my most important "moments".
If I've ever known you, the reader, be assured that I remember certain special moments, like we all do, and that most of them are earmarked by the time of day, the chill of the wind, the excitement of the breeze, or the saltiness of the air. By the way, go outside tonight, in the cold air...it's so beautiful, low moon waning, many stars (if you leave on the Eastern side of the Us probably) and clear, freezing and just a wonderful sight.
(If not, keep those socks on, it's freakin cold out ;)

In Media Rest...

Whatever, that just means I started a blog and then saved it, for your sensitive ears could not fully appreciate it's value without being well edited. Have a good night, soldiers... this full moon is waning, the stars are bright, cold and beautiful- and I love it when I can look up to the sky and see that there is nothing between myself and the stars except my breath, millions of years, and clean cold air sitting in blue perfection.
Look outside sometime at night, during these longer evenings, and enjoy the beauty that is night, especially in Florida or the Southeast where most nights are full of mosquitos, palmetto bugs, or lizards. Enjoy the cool air before the days of eight o'clock dinners, late night driveway carwashes and kids bouncing off the walls because "it's not dark yet" come to pass.

Enjoy the dark, enjoy the evening hours. They do not last long.

Sexy People, according to yourself

According to a fresh post at Salon.com (great site with great writers), James Franco is their choice for the Sexiest man of the decade. Form his offbeat appearance recently on the soap General Hospital (which most serious actors would turn a nose to) to his underrated performance as Tristant in "Tristan and Isolde", he is definitely a good choice, if not slightly surprising due to his young age and so many years yet to prove himself a leading man. But, I realized from this article and other lists like it, that the past decade was a drastic change from the 90's as far as leading men go.
Case in point- in the 90's, almost every big action movie had Tom Cruise (Mr. Shorty I like to call him), Mel Gibson or Arnold Scharnnn...sss..zzz.rrr.. that guy. While the Arnold ones, faded, men like George Clooney, Will Smith, Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Leonardo DeCaprio, Colin Ferrell, Matt Damon etc rose up the ranks into more popular movies as the 2000's began. Movies like "Troy", "Kingdom of Heaven", "Alexander", and "Gladiator" were all muscle, bronzey stories of the will of Man over unGodly forces in battle. Stories like "Men in Black" and "I, Robot" starring Smith were more fun and brainy action sci-fi genres that cemented him as another lead man studios could count on.
And then....there's Johnny Depp. He's done everything from a strung out hero in "From Hell", the puppy dog eyed lead in "Edward Scissorhands" to the wonderful remake of Willy Wonka. He has been very popular in the Disney "Pirates" trilogy, and will be the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. Don't forget "Blow", "The Ninth Gate", "The Secret Window", and about a dozen other movies made where men like his ironic, witty personality and women love his lanky long hair. I loved him in "21 Jump Street." I'm old.
So, who is considered a "sexy" man as far as movies go, is being redefined by more subtle, less muscular men, I would suggest. Look to the popularity of Judd Apatow movies where all his men are either scrawny brainics with Jew-fros or pudgy pot smokers like Seth Rogen. These men are approachable, they are men that women know, our brothers, our friends, our college boyfriends. we'll see what new men come out on top in the box office the next few years...as with most things pop culture, who we watch or listen to reflects greatly on our current state of mind.
Hmmm.....So if I find that crazy killer guy in "No Country for Old Men" attractive, what could that say about me? Without the Dutch boy hair cut, of course.