Monday, August 29, 2011

Why I will never be a Real Housewife

I have weaned myself off of the Real Housewife wagon the past two years. since canceling our cable and being in general a ton more busy, I stop by Bravo.com every few months to see what's going on with an old friend (I LOVE the real estate show with Jeff....). Anyway, I have compiled a short list of why I will never be a real housewife:

My McMullen hair is too thick and wavy for it. All the gals on RHW shows have straightened hair. I always got lots of compliments on my actually very curly hair ( i have pics to prove it trust me), and I kept it super curly until about two years ago. Before that- there were some periods of trying to straighten it but in the end, I went totally natural and let the curls fly. Now,my hair is super short and fun and sexy...but I know I will never again go against the grain and try to have long straight hair-- only long, super curly hair. Accept the wave, girls!

I will never get a spray tan. Yes, I use SPF 25 or more, and get out a few times a summer to "tan" the legs and tummy. I cannot do the spray thing...just can't. When it's winter, even in the panhandle of FL, you should look paler and hipper in the jeans and boots, not orange.

My house is not full of rental bronze and faux marble furniture. Alot of RHWs seem to fill their McMansions with bizzarely oversized furniture and things they never use- like grand pianos. I love pianos- and know how to play them very well. I grew up with a perfectly nice upright piano and have never expected more in my future when I want to get one. They go against a wall - leaving more room for playing with your kids, and your book shelves.

My husband is not an alcoholic or emotional abuser.

Plastic surgery is an option- but not mine. I do not see why any attractive 30 something year old needs any work. I could understand if you are 55 and decide you need a lift, peel, tuck or something else after half a century of raising children, or working hard on a career (just as important to alot of my friends). Now, I am not talking about the people that I know who are not "RHW's" - these women already have the upper hand- the time and money for botox, lip injections, jaw implants and other things. I am talking about the women who are obsessed with their body image so young that they never enjoy their full womanhood.
Enjoy your self.

I will never have a "crib" to show off to cable tv- mostly because we are rarely here if we can't be. We love our home, and always love our homes (we move alot and are glad for it). I dress our home with stuff we find traveling, on the beach, or from family. It's a mini museum - we even have old insulaters, fossillised bones from mastodons, and other weird stuff just laying around, if anyone wants to know about, we have stories!

I am too shy. My writing is easy to me. But being in front of cameras would make me look like a deer in the headlights of a Bay County fully permitted hunter who is lit on Jim Beam and has a bad wife. You know what I mean.

Well, I have a sick child tonight. If it's not one, it's the other. Our children are always so healthy, until one gets a cold...then it's "Let's put aside a few weeks for seeing if we need a doctor time". Fun! Hope everyone out there is doing well. Times are crazy but as one good old Chinese person said (Kenko) - "It's vain to think we are living in bad times...there were always bad times before you."


Saturday, August 27, 2011

Free Kisses!

Until I am able to do my movie review list like I want to...here's a nice photo gallery of kisses!

BTW we just watched "Dinner with Schmuck's" last night and it was very very funny (in parts). I worry that Steve Carrel is turning into a one note tragi-comedy actor (or has he already?). No doubt he's talented but I kept thinking of Jim Carey's incredibly aggravating and annoying character in the "Cable Guy" while watching it. I know there are a TON of Cable Guy fans out there (my husband is one). But I could never get over how frustrating that story line was and Jim Carey made me crazy in it. That was the point I am sure. But I don't like being toyed with in that way (Capricorns hate being made fun of..we take ourselves way too seriously).
Ha! I did kindof get a movie review in there after all...anyway..got the whole family here this morning and my new name (Mom) is being repeated like a banging gong in my distant mind.

Have a great day and enjoy the kisses in below link:

http://todayspictures.slate.com/20110825/

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Food Fight!!

Anthony Bourdain takes on the Queen Deen (Paula that is)....interesting commentary on how political foodies can get. I didn't realize the extent to which Deen is paid by Smithfield Food Products. My husband and I laughed hard at one show where she was showing a huge pan of mac-n- cheese to a foreign black child - she was shouting at the boy like he was deaf. We were like - no Paula he's not deaf he's just not American! holy wow.

Fun reading- it's a good one. Love love love the Village Voice!


http://blogs.villagevoice.com/forkintheroad/2011/08/bruni_culinary.php

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

What I've been doing

Hello cats and dogs! What are you up to on these hot humid nasty days? Did i mention it's hot and humid. About to get another afternoon storm here (pretty regular after 3) and soon that Hurricane Irene will be barreling up the East coast, making some poor souls get all wet and prob have no a/c for a few days (been there, lots of times- we always got beer, ice, fruit and charge those cell phones early!).

Soo...I intend on writing some good stuff here soon but have been a little busy the past few weeks. Twice within a 7 day period I am sitting here plugging away happily, doing some writing for someone else' website and blog. You may know him- Aaron Allen from Panama City, FL. His parents owned a great restaurant (Allen's Seafood) and we met up for a quick lunch last year after getting in touch on Facebook. As cheesy as some may think Facebook is, I have to say, I have liked getting back in touch with some old friends, even those I may not have been super close with 20 years ago- but rather the ones who I may have more in common with now, or even find interesting company for lunch (who Aaron, of course, is). My two young kids were behaved enough but that's not the point-

The point is, you should check his website out sometime. He does global restaurant consulting, and I am helping to write blog posts for him. His site is http://aaronallen.com/ . I love doing this kind of work and am hoping to offer my services to more companies soon. Anyway, Aaron and I have been in touch about working since January (when I did a few works for him) and now I am helping with a few blog topics he needs research on. Obviously, in this my own blog, is full of grammatical issues and editing nightmares...but I am very happy to have another creative outlet as real work.

So....if you look at his site under "Restaurant Marketing" (under Blogs) you will see two posts "5 Tips for Location Based Services" and "5 Well Done Restaurant FB Pages"....you may recognize my own voice on those. Of course Aaron has great anecdotes to insert and great professional information that is also infused into the blogs! Anyway, check it out sometime. You are welcome to "like" any of his great articles (look for him to do more fantastic stuff about Global Food Crisis and Foodie Trends too). I have also contributed several other ideas like "Successful blogging," "On Facebook, Now What?", "Like and Share, the Dynamic Duo", and "Selling on Facebook" which you may see posted down the road.

Let's be clear- the ideas and initial information is all Aaron. I merely edit, contribute great screenshots, ideas and additional information. Fun- what a journalism and advertising geek like me loves to do. And all from home!

Soo- the next time you get on Facebook and wonder why I'm there for three hours a night- I am probably doing restaurant marketing research (trust me, tons!) and NOT trying to find out where you live or if you're married !

LOVE TO YOU ALL - Jenn McC. PS will be writing again very soon :)

Sunday, August 14, 2011

How are you? I am busy today and am writing for a living tonight but hope to break out and write on this one for a while later. There no being left alone with two small children - for such a previously private person i am now officially "Broken" of that personality trait.

Two boys ..... it's enough to drive a girl insane ...but they're mine so they don't!

CHeck this meditative art film out for a few....

http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/our_picks/index.html?story=/ent/movies/andrew_ohehir/2011/08/11/over_your_cities_grass_will_grow

Monday, August 8, 2011

Things I am going to spend a moment on and then try to forget....

Here what needs to go away or retire for a while, or forever:

24 News Channels - they are making everyone nuts. It's not news, it's someone's opinion parading as news, and it's sad how many people watch and nod their heads in unison without thinking for themselves.

Kardashian ANYTHING. Please please please. please please please. Please.

Texting - great for business communication, but I detest it for friendships, family and people I hold "close" - use the digits and your voice if possible. I know we all do it, but I miss the long phone conversations I used to have with tons of people, now everyone's all "Write me on FB" - why not call? Oh, you're too busy texting me or writing on FB - lol.

Kanye West

Music Smugs- these are the folks we all know who still think it's cool to act like they were the first ones to see a new group, discover them, or share them. Yes, yes you did it first. Does that make you feel better? Music is for sharing, not for being snobby over.

Reality TV - except for cooking shows, which are mildly meditative and zen- like unless that red faced Brit is screaming at someone, in which case you can always turn the tv to public channels and get Zen moments from Lawrence Whelk, Austin City Limits or Ken Burns doc (all reality based)

JLo - Thought she'd get married to Marc Antony after all that Bennifer crap, and lay low - but no, she had to go get separated and insert herself again onto our world stage. Get off my stage JLo!

Britney Spears - because she and N'Sync pretty much RUINED MTV starting around 1998. Time to get back to the bayou little blondie, drink some mojitos with momager and raise your kin.

90's Nostalgia - isn't it a little too early to daydream about the days of Boys to Men, late Hair Bands, Bill Clinton and big cellular phones? I get a little tired of constant nostalgia, especially the ton or remakes from bad tv (Buffy Vampire Slayer, 90210, NOTKB tours). Leave the stuff in the past, where it belongs. Except for Steve Spurrier footage, I don't need to be constantly reminded of something that, in my own mind, is really only a "few years ago."

That's all I can muster for right now...I have been writing for various other things lately (including two essay contests $$) so my mind is slightly fried. The fam is good, and we are very thankful for some helpful family members who let us have two whole evenings children free. Next up, my summer list of movies, ratings and all. We saw a ton of movies at home this summer, and by were there some stinkers and stars!!



Saturday, August 6, 2011

Happy Birthday World Wide Webbernet!!

"Member the days when you stuck an AOL disc in and could go to Taco Bell, come back and visit web sites for about 10 minutes per week? that was fun wasn't it?? Sine FB is all "Remember when..." this week, thought I'd post this fun link from Salon about the old webbernaut days! Happy surfing.



http://www.slate.com/slideshow/business-tech/happy-20th-birthday-world-wide-web#slide_2

Thursday, August 4, 2011

According to .....

Inc.com one of my favorite zines about small business information:

15 Sq Ft of workspace was lost by the average office worker from 1994-2010

Sales increases for fitness centers and sports centers grew +13.62% from 2009-2010

while sales decreased for car washes -12.187%

Men sent an average of 555 text messages per month while women sent 716. (according to Nielson).

So - more people are working out of their home office or cars, are going to car washes less (which makes sense, we always wash our own cars and alot of states have had such bad droughts that car washes are closing down), and women are texting a ton. Which is funny because i text about twice a week to local family for plans or a few far away girlfriends. But I always prefer a long old fashioned catch up session using real voices. I see men texting alot more than women, in my life, but hey you say to-may-toe and I say toh-mah-toe.