Post maternity bathing suit uses

I tried on the new maternity bathing suit and felt like a sleek beached whale. I always avoid maternity clothes as long as possible during preggars time because as much as they try to make cute modern clothes for us "with child", there is not a whole lot cute about the empire waists pushing your boobs up like overflowing muffins and your belly always grows into a huge round globe. No, I am not embarrased of my body when preggers, I enjoy the time and don't seem to have alot of the hormonal grumpiness I hear alot of other mommies (and their husbands) joking about. In fact, I kind of bliss out when preggars and liken it a waiting period before new arrivals and chaos. but the clothes.....

So, the bathing suit is "cute", black and low cut in front. It has room to grow during the summer as I will. Since this is a temporary condition, using old vernacular, I wonder what to do with this odd, double knitted, two-ply piece of lycra wonder.

1. The first thing I thought of was "The Big Lebowski" and Jesus and his bowling ball washer. Perfect!!!! A big fat ball washer.

2. Toting around those popular name brand toy dogs everyone has these days. Like a fashionable shiny black purse over your shoulder, it'll swing your dog to poodle heaven.

3. Carrying other items you need moving- today we stopped by the causeway so I could "borrow" some lime rocks to finish bordering our little red mulch landscaping area in the backyard. I can use my old suit to carry free landscaping such as this in half the time.

4. A watermelon holder/mover

5. A baby sling.

6. stuff it, sew it up and you have a new black pillow for your bordello.

7. For fun, bury it in the yard and in about 1000 years someone will dig it up as an artifact. It will never disintegrate...

8. Cut up and make the material into a wicked witch of the West costume hat.

9. Try to sell to a consigment store - they may give you 50 cents.

10. Wash it, save it, and take it out next time you lose all that baby weight and go
"holy cow, I was a big fat %$#@!" And then remind yourself that it may never happen again- for better or worse....