Happiness

is where you find it, now, isn't it? I have noticed that when I am not looking it is right there. You know- there. It is not found within another person, or among some big planned event. It is in the moment, and if you let it- can stay with you as long as you allow. I've always been attracted to darkness, maybe through my own analytical mind's strive towards solving problems. When someone looks upset I want to know why. I want to help. Then over the years, I realized I was being selfish. It wasn't my problem to solve and I don't hold any answers. I can only love, and offer help if asked.

At the moment, the song "Mountain" by Tonic is playing- a great song. No direct correlation to this post. But good song just the same. Good album, after a decade or more.

Happiness- is it learned, or does it just happen? Do I recognize it enough? Do I give it credit? I have never been "happier" by most people's definitions. Yet are their definitions different than my own- big houses, big cars, a perfect face?

Maybe - my happiness comes in parts- little places of time well spent, good reading, brilliant moments of nature, great music, baby feet, my first son saying night time prayers in bed, my grandparents still here to delight me with their history and lives, dolphins jumping, the sunrise at dawn with a coffee mug while my son tugs at my leg, oil paintings to finish, friends old and new I wonder about.....

a life that still intimidates me at times.

Happiness- it's where you're at, and where you are going. It is there. If you've already figured it out, good for you. I still enjoying the dark and the light- and perhaps in my old age wanting the middle....