I self -censored myself, and it felt great!

Early this morning, I wrote a post that upon later reading, was totally not on point, totally not clear, and totally could have been misconstrued. I deleted myself. The post was bad, it was written too early in the morning (around 6:30 am while my kids were eating breakfast) and it did not contain the right words for my point. This does not happen often. When you see what I have written here on this blog, it's on purpose. I do not apologize as a writer however badly written my thoughts come tumbling out. Or on good days, come out precisely as how I meant them, which is most of the posts. There are too many times in this modern life where people feel they must apologize for their true expressive thoughts, and this blog is not that place for me. It is one of my places of content and discontent. The others are more private and we like it that way. (facebook doesn't count- I dont actually talk alot about my true feelings about anything on it- just commentary on fleeting posts, opinions, and soliticited advice). This post did not say enough about my true feelings, and the content was a general thought, and did not do justice to my true original idea. So- it is deleted. I stand corrected, by myself- the best way for a writer to be corrected...wink wink.

Who are you...who who who who.

No, I haven't read "A History of White People" yet. I am still on the second Steig Larrson trilogy ("The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo") so as to catch up before the American movies are made. Also, I checked out "The best American Poetry of 2009" from the library. I used to buy those every year since 1990, but since I only like about half the poems, realized it was smarter to read them for the 2 weeks allotted for free, and do with them what i like before returning. Modern poetry is just as "all over the place" as any poetry from the 1600's. Every poet is either writing about a world inside their mind, or writing about the world as they see it (Wallace was this way, and I love that about him- he was called "the first urban poet" by a commentator on PBS recently, and supposedly Jack Kerouack's 'Howl' poem was inspired by him).

So, this mystery is not solved. This "A History of White People" may remain a legend in my mind...the author still unGoogled, a summary yet unread...I leave alot of stuff unturned using the internet because really, doesn't that ruin life sometimes? Knowing everything?? Finding anything without doing it yourself?
When I read it, I'll let you know. Until then, we'll be content with "A History of Us", written by unnamed, unknown scholars who think they know us all, and know all, and who have written our history for all of us, regardless of race..and we will go on reading and believing what we read and be ok with that. And really, we are, aren't we? Who has time for all that researching and the questions- oy!

forethought

"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever, she went, including here, it was against her better judgement."
Dorothy Parker, New Yorker, 1929.

I love love love Dorothy Parker. Jennifer Jason Leigh was in a great film portraying her called "Dorothy Parker and the Vicious Circle." I am a big fan of writers, critics and essayists from the 1920's- 1940's (especially EB White, Hemingway, HL Mencken, and Fitzgerald). Ms. Parker was was unique in my mind, because she is not always put in the same category as "modern women writers". No, she was a little different - and that goes a long way when you're a woman. Writers of history (usually men) tend to put all modern women writers in a "feminist" category or a "African American fiction writer" category when it comes to literature or essays before 1950's. This isn't ( I believe) out of some masculine drive to subjugate women writers, but merely was done at colleges to easier teach student's the emerging "modern" groups of writers that had the tools of pop media to get their word out (ie typewriters were cheaper and publishing houses were a dime a dozen in NYC after the industrial revolution.)

If you ever want to be mildly amused or laugh out loud..read up on Ms. Parker. Her words bite at times, but she's got truth and humour on her side. Great personal hero. A gem of an American writer.

We did finally watch "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" last night- it was subtitled of course, but definitely one of the best films we have seen this year. I have read there is already an Oscar push for it. I am skeptical as to how an American director would make an English version better- that usually doesn't work out well- remember the "Grudge" movies? Much better Japanese (original) versions.

Anyway, I am just glad it's getting attention. I would highly recommend reading the trilogy before seeing these "US" versions before they are made. The characters have detailed pasts and hidden lives that they can only address onscreen for so many minutes before cutting back to action (and you know the American version will be all about the action, not about what's going on in their heads about their past). I hope this is not the case. I hope the new movie trilogy that is going to be the biggest new trilogy since "Spiderman" or LOTR even, is up to par with the excellent novels.

Read up, folks. If you can't tonight, I hope your life is going well. What did you do today? I mean, really? Did you make someone's life easier, did you give a compliment or three, did you donate, give, or make your short time on Earth worth it? I hope you did, such peacefulness we recieve after giving. I hear alot of people talk about giving, and I think alot of people want to give, but it's easier to sit and watch tv all day and see a false world and not get out into the real world.

Do something. It feels good, trust me. We are raising two young boys to know that their parents do things beside watch tv, worry about what others think, and to give, give, give. Life is short. Don't wait around for someone else to ignite your fire (especially not some politician as some naive people are prone to do.)

In the end, I realize some people like the motivational speaking of others to get their souls on fire. That is human nature and I understand. Maybe my new slogan should be " Just Do It."...oh, that's already taken.
Maybe this then "Do it. Now."

Yes!!

Stay tuned for this one

When in the Dunedin Public Library today, I notice a new arrival with all kinds of accolades on it titled "The History of White People". I already had a basket full of books to take home, some I will read, some I won't. They are due back in two weeks along with my sons dvd's, children's cd"( sing a longs and lullabies) and the cheap ten cent magazines I pick up every few weeks. I donate bags of them and books, so it's a giving circle of free entertainment.

So...what is that book about? I must find out more. How interesting, truly. I must know what the author is trying to say (from the cover- a straight history of the European race without any 'racially influenced rewriting of history'.) hmm.. bigotry or someone trying to make a point about how messed up our story telling has become?

I will check it out soon. and report back. If it sucks, I will definitely tell. I love outing bigotry, reverse racism, and racism whenever possible, especially from so called journalist- writers.

A moment of the day

Almost every night, around 9-10 pm, I wake Jude up from his early evening slumber and feed him a last bottle of milk. It is one of my favorite times of night, besides laying in bed with Nick to read books nightly (around 7 pm) before he goes to sleep. Jude is usually sleeping hard, like a balled up little wrestler, all full of warmth and cuteness. He has the biggest blues and opens them up like silver dollar pancakes, then gets all excited and grabs his last bottle. I hold him, sitting on a couch or on the guest bed in his room, away from tv, or music, to watch him go to work. After it's empty, he always tries to throw it down like some boxer throwing down his empty water bottle, ready to return to the struggle of going back to sleep. He is like that- very on, very off. And before you know it, he's wiping his eyes, squirming around to get onto tummy position and I lay him back in his crib. He sometimes decides to sit up, thumb in mouth, looking around in faux wide-eyed wonder. Then, he realizes that it's done, it's over, and it's bedtime for good. This usually can take him until around 7 am when the sun rises. Our sons sleep hard, they play hard and they hardly peep during the night anymore. Thank you God, for such blessings, all of them.

Best movie of decade?

"O, Brother, Where Art Thou?" - in this category, i did not include alot of my favorite foreign films such as "Amelia", "City of God" and "Me, U, Tambien" because there are so many I have seen and because they come from a different perspective that places them in an entire "great films" category that is just too big for me to deal with on paper...so those will remain in my head.

So...besides "Fargo", my other top ten fave, this Coen Brothers feature has everything - a unique dialogue structure (both Southern and poetic, go figure), wonderful art direction, great scenes, great musical themes and it seems to tell a Gothic Southern tale that includes a strange "American dream" story. I could also say the same thing about "Fargo" without all the Southern stuff- it is the stuff of Midwestern boredom, naivete and straightforwardness that is all it's own little nugget of wealth about the "American story."

However, I just find "O Brother" slightly more entertaining due to it's folk music soundtrack and it's haunting Southern scenes that one would recognize on first sight- especially if raised "in the South".
That's my top pick. Number #2 being "No Country for Old Men". Both tales of America, both very dark, very stark, but with slight differences in the handling of good versus evil. Faulkner, Hemingway and London would be proud. And I am sure Cormac McCarthy, our modern great fiction writer, is proud of his book on film.