Spoiling the young kingdom.

Recently I saw Jamie Lee Curtis do an interview on a morning show...stay with me. She was asked about the recent death of her famous and beloved father Tony Curtis. She explained that she loved her father like her fans did, as he was distant from her family and was not really a "father", and she further explained that this was in no way negative but that it was what it was. She also said her own actress mother who raised her and her siblings, was also distant emotionally, although she was always "there." Curtis was very calm when explaining that for her generation (similar age to my parents' own parents, and perhaps yours), parents were "there" to function as parents but did not go out of their way to be "touchy feely" and that she knew her parents loved her, but there was not the hands on parenting of today. She expressed no regret at this upbringing- in fact joked about the fact that the parents of that generation would "parent" while playing cards with friends over toddies and ciggies, after giving the kids a good night kiss and off to bed you go. I personally enjoyed her opinion that parents today "over parent", that they "clap over every move" (her words) and create little people who need so much acceptance at a young age, and who need so much emotional boosting it is debilitating.
Amen. I agree. We applaud every single thing at our home since our kids are still both under four, and are doing the whole first step, first potty, first school art work thing. However, I do think there is something to be said about letting kids learn without being given stickers for every single thing, or else they are being set up for ALOT of expectations (spoiled) when they grow older. It is not "tough love" to say "that's great" for something, without all the bells and whistles kids get today...like every word they speak means they are a poet or a future scientist. Kids need to be kids, and adult parents need to retain a part of their adult world. It does not have to conflict, in fact, I have many memories of my parents having get togethers with their own friends, and we were expected to have fun playing for a while, and never were allowed to just "hang out" until 10 pm with the adults. I respect that very much about my parents, and my husband & I both share memories like this. A child had boundaries, and adults had theirs. I see parents now who allow their kids to run around like zombies at events until 11 pm and then wonder why they are having behavior issues....umm probably because, as my pediatrician told me- kids under 12 need at least 10 hours sleep to feel normal.

So...I thought this was the first person in a while to come out as a little more conservative in the parenting field. To admit that though her parents were "actors' and therefore a little more remote emotionally, she thought that she benefited from the fact that she was not allowed like a alot of child stars, to hang out until midnight with her parents, pretending to be a grown up while a child.
Kids are being raised by parents today who have alot more divorce issues, money issues, instability. Trust me, I know about these things. The one luxury we can give our children is to allow them to be kids, to allow for their flaws, and to allow them to make mistakes to learn from early in life. This is a lesson I need to remember also, as I kiss and hug my boys over every single thing they do. Stickers, rewards, toys...it all adds up to material rewards not emotional.

Enough learning...let's just all have a great night!! Life is good, lots to learn, some things better later than never.