FYI

Things not to say to pregnant women

1. I thought you were further along than that! (this said to me at Sweetbay groceries last week- I took it to mean the cashier who has been watching us grow was saying I looked bigger than only 6.5 mos. my husband says no that she probably thought we were having the child earlier than Sept. Either way I smiled and said what do I look further along? and then sighed and waddled away in my personal humid storm cloud.)
2. You're young, you can try again! This said after finding out we are having a brother for Nick. No, we aren't trying again, and had no definition for our family such as we must have one boy and one girl to have a perfect family unit. First, I never even thought I wanted children, so having two is a big big deal anyway. Second, I like being a woman but have heard alot of children that so happen to be girls are more difficult for their parents. Third, don't assume we wanted more than what we are getting!
3. You look tired.
4. Gosh, I am so glad I'm not going through that again! (this was said to me by a family member as they reflected on their own blissful stage of un-pregnancy, not realizing that wasn't a very thoughtful thing to say outloud to a very pregnant person.)
5. Are you sure you're not having twins- ok this has never been said to me, but how mortifying if you're not! You can lay off the extra donuts and pizza during pregnancy and go walking like I do to build strength, but by the 7th month, you look like you swallowed a watermelon with only one so no need to assume unless told that someone's having multiples.

Do say- you look great, only 9 weeks left- that's going to fly by!, I am so excited for you, and nice things like that.
Offer to help out when baby comes like bringing some food or doing some housework while you stop by to visit. "Visiting", i found with Nick, is fine but just sitting on the couch chatting isn't my thing and it is greatly appreciated if someone would donate some energy and say "hey- let me fill up that dishwasher for you guys, or is there anything I can run to the store to get you?" The visiting part can be energy draining in itself, and when I am sitting there chatting I am already running a list in my head of all the things I need to do to catch up after being home from the hospital.
Next topic- something besides pregnancy and babystuff.

Just saying.