excerpt for the day

I found this while revisiting one of my Best American Short Story compilations I've gotten every year since "91. This one, form 2005 edited by Michael Chabon, was written by Tom Bissell and is named "Death Defier". It is a short fiction about a war journalist in Afghanistan, including a misadventure with some newly elected "generals" in the remote parts of Central Asia, and his growing emotional withdrawal from all that he reports. I loved this excerpt:

" 'There really were, Donk thought, and thought again now, 'two kinds of people in the world; Chaos People and Order People. '
For Donk this was not a bit of cynical, Kiplingish-wisdom to be doled out among fellow journalists in barren intercontinental barrooms. It was not meant in a condescending way....Chaos People, Order People. Anyone who doubted this had never tried to wait in line, board a place, or get off a bus among Chaos People. The next necessary division of the world's people took place along the lines of whether they actually knew what they were. The Japanese were Order People and knew it. Americans and English were Chaos People who thought they were Order People. The French were the worst thing to be: Order People who thought they were Chaos People. But Afghans, like Africans and Russians and the Irish, were Chaos People who knew they were Chaos People, and while this lent the people themselves a good amount of charm, it made their countries go berserk, insane. Countries did indeed go insane. Sometimes they went insane and stayed insane. Chaos People's countries tended to stay insane.
Donk miserably pulled off his do-rag, the bloody glue that held the fabric to his skin tearing from his ruined eyebrow ....
'So tell me, Ahktar. What are we supposed to do here?'"

Thank you, Mr. Bissell, for your little nugget of great fiction writing from one journalism student to a real-life war journalist who actually went to Central Asia and reported first hand his own experiences in Men's Journal.

So I'm not the only one who feels this way

"We really are living in the age of the idiot, aren't we? Most people are so comfortable with their ignorance that common wisdom is no longer wise. My new rule? Whatever course of action everyone else agrees on, do the opposite."

AMEN.

This quoted from Michael Bienes, one of Bernie Madoff's early partners, during a Frontline interview while trying offer explanations of how Madoff could pull the wool over so many people's eyes. Bienes is not under investigation for any wrong doing (so far).

A/C D/C and me

This morning while the stereo played in the background, Nick and I had some great moments together drawing, playing hide and seek, and lounging around waiting for the afternoon to come so we can revisit the beach. Usually, we have a mix of cds playing according to our mood. Today, I flicked on whatever radio station I could find that seemed to have a good classic rock/folk mix (not all Ozzie, a little Dylan thrown in) on 102.5 here in Tampa area.
What starts playing in the bacground that slowly enters my consciousness??
"Big balls" by A/C D/C and what a song it is!!
"Who's got the biggest balls of them all? I've got big balls....he's got big balls..." you get the picture.
After laughing to myself and having trippy flashbacks to high school nights where sometimes all you ever heard at parties was that flambouyant Australian rock band or Steve Miller Band, I got up and turned the station.
Uh-oh. Censorship has begun. Cover your ears son, there's some crazy music, poetry, literature and movies out there. Not to mention people.
Now, we have on a jazz and blues mix with some Sarah Brightman thrown in - because it's nap time.
Who can go to sleep to "Thunderstruck" or "Immigrant Song"???
Jeez. Being a mom can be so lame. I've got to find my headphones.

The mommy world becomming more open...

Thanks to writers like Ayelet Waldman, whose new collection of essays is titled "Bad Mother" there are tons of new books for mommies-to-be that offer a new look at motherhood that is without all the sanctimonious "my child birth was perfect and you did it wrong" mentality that was so popular the last 10 years. Finally, some mothers are being honest about their not so perfect childbirths, their trials with nurturing, their run-ins with other people's bad children, and dozens of other little things that happen when you have a newborn. Finally!
Don't be fooled, there are many many mothers out there who would never in a million years let you see them sweat, or admit that their own child was a hellion to raise at some point. There are still those eye-roll inducing moms who like to "share" their motivation for breast feeding in public and or offer advice like "breast is best" to those who may not do that particular thing, and those moms have serious issues. Mostly, it seems, they just think they are always right anyway so that doesn't change once they give birth. Also, they assume that other moms may not have heard this information, or that they are just to ignorant to try it. That's assuming alot. Many mothers try breast feeding and it works out fine, but it's not the business of any other mother to inform a new mom (who has enough to think about) how good it is to let it hang out all the time. That is a doctor's job. That's just one of a few mommy issues under fire lately.
Another issue that has come up in recent blogs and new books is that so many moms have set a standard so high that other moms feel less than perfect to a point of dropping self-esteem. I am seen this myself- and have been a part of conversations that included advice from one mom to a newer mom that wasn't really helpful advice- but more like preachy rhetoric from some new age book rather than a real friend. I sadly chalk alot of this up to a competitive nature that forms when women group up together under stressful situations- it is always happening and it holds women back from truly helping each other to be better parents, and to be better people. Some moms talk about how they have a perfect husband, a perfect home and they might be one of the ones I personally envy that found a way to work somewhere professionally while having a new little one. Look closer under the hood- those are the ones who feel the need to brag for a reason. Maybe their little junior is that grifter stealing your kids' toys when they come over to play (I have had this happen to me and it's really awkward to get them back) while their parent looks the other way, or they get violent with other kids because they do not get enough attention.
Other topics that are being loosened up on by "fed-up" moms are caffeine intake while pregnant, vitamins while pregnant, bedtime schedules, sleeping with parents or not, strict birth plans (we dont' have one this time from experience), and all kinds of educational topics and codes of conduct that have been vigilantly followed for years now. The point is to follow your own instinct, and your doctor's advice and to not see other moms as the "end all" examples to follow as other moms are just as clueless in the beginning as their own newborn...to a point. Natural instinct kicks in, but every household environment is so different that those instincts will follow along a certain path that is your own special creation- you and your mate's!
Whatever the case, no parent is perfect, because no human is perfect. We all know instinctively to keep a safe household, how to take care of our children and it is ok to ask questions- I did alot with our first one to whoever I could, and it really helped. I am just glad that there are so many new books and blogs that show how different all parents are, and that is ok. It is also ok to not be happy that you're up at 6 am every day, that you miss your time alone, that you lose part of your social life, or that your kids drive you to tears sometimes ( they will, most likely). It's ok to be so tired you can't hold a conversation with your lover or husband anymore that includes music, politics or news besides vaccination schedules and recalled toys. It's ok to find reasons to give your children to someone else for a while so you can get a facial (my favorite ressurected treat), or to get upset because your new car always has food, drink spots and sand in it from children.
So, if you're ever in doubt of yourself as a new parent, know that there are plenty of people in the same boat. You might not always hear about it their problems first hand. Luckily, there is great new material out there to reach for if your gray hair just showed up from the stress of it all.
Side note: from the posts I've read, Waldman was treated with hostility by a few women while a guest on Oprah because she had written in one of her online essays that she loved her husband more than her children. Whoah! I am shocked by that! I know that alot of women feel that way, and it's natural seeing as the person you have spent the most time with (probably) before your child's birth is the person you might love and feel the closest too, whether initially or for the long-haul. For some women, it takes time to really love your new child, as they are needy, hard to communicate with, and they don't necessarily love you back right away. Ok- they love you for food, play time whatever. Really comparing the two relationships is like comparing Italian pizza to Totina's. They just aren't the same. But the way that some women need to be hostile to others who just don't feel the same warm fuzzies over babies is slightly embarrassing. I don't and have never felt warm fuzzies over other people's babies and never was a girl who liked to hold or play with little ones. So I can relate to this somewhat. Other women have looked at me like I was an alien when I declined to hold or play with children- why should I feel pressured to do something i didn't want to? Other people's kids bored me, they drove me nuts or just got annoying and I didn't like spit-up on my nice professional work clothes. Also- my husband and I have always had such a close-knit bond that it was initially weird to have a third person around- our son. For a while I was like- oh yeah- we have that new boy over there! And my heart grew bigger every day. It's just easier to raise your children without that raised eye-brow look of opinion everywhere.

New Documentary

Very interested in watching the new documentary by the great Barry Levinson called "Poliwood", in which he tries to portray the relationship between Hollywood celebrities and their power over Washington. According to reviews after it was screened at a recent film fest, Levinson does a surprisingly balanced job of interviewing his own wealthy and politically active Hollywood peers such as Susan Sarandon and Josh Lucas, without crucifying them for using their wealth and obvious platform, film, to make their political statements. On the other hand, he uses several cable news pundits to reveal how closely knitted the ties are between the Democratic party and Hollywood, and how long that relationship has lasted and succeeded (i.e-current president). Most of his celeb friends are members of the Creative Coalition (a -dare we say it- PAC or lobbyist group the represents left-wing Hollywood agendas) and are at one point put face to face with American voters living outside the Hollywood bubble during a heated but positive and passionate forum. Most of the details are listed at The Daily Beast.com this week and as I have always enjoyed Levinson's films ("Avalon" being one) and their commentary on changing American culture, I look forward to watching it as soon as it's available. As one reviewer put it, it is the first film so far to attempt a fair and true representation of how US politics works in relation to entertainment, without pointing fingers or trying to get one viewpoint across. That would be change!!!
I guess I'll have to see!

Beach babies and their moms

After another day at the nearby beach today, I noticed a few different types of moms who set up camp with their kids at the beach.

1. The "Put Together Mom"- this is usually me for only first 15 minutes until the wind tangles my naturally curly hair and sand gets all over our sheet, towels and cooler. This mom is the one who sits blithely in her chair chatting on a phone while her kids stay miraculously nearby and play without any help from her. She has a French manicure, has cute perfectly highlighted hair, has perfectly cut healthy fruit slices and tea sandwiches ready for lunch, and her kids are dressed in clothes that are unecessarily expensive for where they are at. Her children are named like Cabbage Patch Dolls- Eliza Meliss, Jackson Smith James, Emily Ashby, Ashley Rhett...
Side note- there are alot of them here, but they are very common in southern places like PC and the ATL women who visit PCB have this totally nailed down.
2. "The Never left the 70's behind Mom"- I see a few of these down here more than in Panama City Beach and Ft. Walton beaches we have lived on. These moms may have been raised by hippies and therefore adopted some of the laid back, tye-died wearing styles and attitude. Nothing wrong with that. Some of the ones I saw today have really short demin shorts, lots of silver jewelry, bandannas in their hair and smile at everyone like they just smoked a big one. Their children are named Wren, Leaf, Waif, and Golden. They are completely cool with lugging their kids, chairs, toys and umbrellas down to a spot- it's all good, man!
3. The "Older, Rough-Hewn Overly Tan Redneck Moms"- These abound everywhere. They look a little too mature but their children are still blessed and loved just the same. They bring coolers full of Miller Lite, Winstons, and Taco Bell for lunch. They are tanned like a worn saddle and although also wear short demin shorts, there's are actually from the 70's. They call out to their kids in croaky voices "Harley! Waylon! Skynard! Get yer butts over here now!"
4. The "I Have Children But They don't Affect Me Mom"- this mom lets her kids come over and terrorize your own child, stealing his cheerios and peeing on his sand castle, all the while blissfully chatting on her cell phone, then ignores their increasing cries for attention while texting for two hours. She waves at them and then lets strangers pretty much watch after them the whole day. These are the moms that don't mind if their kids ask for your child's snacks and you wonder why she wanted children- welfare does pay, I guess. Their children are named Number 1, Number 2, and Number 3 because the mom didn't have enough time in her busy texting schedule to name her kids. Plus sending naked pics of yourself to your babydaddies is way more important.

Enough for now, gotta get to the yard and cleaning sand out of the truck again.

Mexican flu days are here again...

They are starting to call the "swine flu" "Mexican flu" since that seems to be the newer, more accurate version of the origination of the flu. This stuff cracks me up. I am not laughing over the people who have died, I am talking about the news media and our government. I watched some of our higher up politicians talk about the flu on the net, and I really felt sorry for them. How do you express your sincere concern about a pretty easy- to -spread bug on national tv without making every one panic?? If they don't sound that concerned, people think they are callous and flippant about a serious issue. They just can't win, can they?
On another note, I have recently gotten into a rut withour new hometown of Clearwater. Since we have lived here last summer, we have hit every little surrounding village (Tarpon Springs being a favorite-great Greek food and wine), every beach, fished almost every fishing on-shore nook (gotten on a few boats so far and will have our own again someday soon I am sure), been to some great eating establishments, and some interesting gardens and artsy areas. We really like hearing live music so after #2 is born will be back into that very very soon. When you grow up visiting a place as often as I cam here with my family to see our grandparents, it becomes like a second home. This is the case with Clearwater- we have family everywhere- I have third cousins, great aunts, grandparents and family in Dunedin, Clearwater, Safety Harbor and Palm Harbor. Not to mention far flung McMullens in Largo, etc. The problem is, now that we've been here as a couple, Phillip and I just need to find new things to do!
We are not amusement park people - no Busch Gardens and especially Disney! Those are the last places we would spend our money for amusement. But we love live music, and new sights and sounds. Hmm...maybe I need to google some new places to visit.
One thing Iv'e realized it that when we are little people- new places seem to big, so new. And when we're all grown up- those places lose their "bigness". In fact, I have realized with humour, that Clearwater is a very small area. Perhaps, in the end, I like bigger cities better with more going on than what this beachy village has to offer....and also realize that Panama City was the only place where Phillip & I found some great great live blues venues where we could cut loose, dance and believe it or not- most people we knew there were not "rednecks".
Hmm- I must revisit our new town and start digging around for some fresh places and faces. In the meantime, the beach is always here for a nice long walk and fresh air.
Maybe we should open our own place the next few years....we've talked about it before in PC. It's very ponderous. Could call it Salty Limey's, or Salt and Lime or Jennifer's Nuthouse, or Crazy Juju's, or JLynn's Wine and Nibbles...