Beach babies and their moms

After another day at the nearby beach today, I noticed a few different types of moms who set up camp with their kids at the beach.

1. The "Put Together Mom"- this is usually me for only first 15 minutes until the wind tangles my naturally curly hair and sand gets all over our sheet, towels and cooler. This mom is the one who sits blithely in her chair chatting on a phone while her kids stay miraculously nearby and play without any help from her. She has a French manicure, has cute perfectly highlighted hair, has perfectly cut healthy fruit slices and tea sandwiches ready for lunch, and her kids are dressed in clothes that are unecessarily expensive for where they are at. Her children are named like Cabbage Patch Dolls- Eliza Meliss, Jackson Smith James, Emily Ashby, Ashley Rhett...
Side note- there are alot of them here, but they are very common in southern places like PC and the ATL women who visit PCB have this totally nailed down.
2. "The Never left the 70's behind Mom"- I see a few of these down here more than in Panama City Beach and Ft. Walton beaches we have lived on. These moms may have been raised by hippies and therefore adopted some of the laid back, tye-died wearing styles and attitude. Nothing wrong with that. Some of the ones I saw today have really short demin shorts, lots of silver jewelry, bandannas in their hair and smile at everyone like they just smoked a big one. Their children are named Wren, Leaf, Waif, and Golden. They are completely cool with lugging their kids, chairs, toys and umbrellas down to a spot- it's all good, man!
3. The "Older, Rough-Hewn Overly Tan Redneck Moms"- These abound everywhere. They look a little too mature but their children are still blessed and loved just the same. They bring coolers full of Miller Lite, Winstons, and Taco Bell for lunch. They are tanned like a worn saddle and although also wear short demin shorts, there's are actually from the 70's. They call out to their kids in croaky voices "Harley! Waylon! Skynard! Get yer butts over here now!"
4. The "I Have Children But They don't Affect Me Mom"- this mom lets her kids come over and terrorize your own child, stealing his cheerios and peeing on his sand castle, all the while blissfully chatting on her cell phone, then ignores their increasing cries for attention while texting for two hours. She waves at them and then lets strangers pretty much watch after them the whole day. These are the moms that don't mind if their kids ask for your child's snacks and you wonder why she wanted children- welfare does pay, I guess. Their children are named Number 1, Number 2, and Number 3 because the mom didn't have enough time in her busy texting schedule to name her kids. Plus sending naked pics of yourself to your babydaddies is way more important.

Enough for now, gotta get to the yard and cleaning sand out of the truck again.