love advice

I hate and I love. Perhaps you ask why I do so. I do not know, but I feel it, and I am in torment.- Catullus, Ode, LXXXV

This is not about my 8 year relationship with my husband, so don't read into it too deeply. I strongly believe there is a fine line between love and hate, and that those kind of relationships are the ones most of us go through. They are dramatic, chaotic at times, and they burn out with both people resenting the fact that they were so let down. This is because they never knew each other in the first place. trust me. If you place your ideals of what you think you want onto someone else, you will always be left pissed off standing in the dark wondering what happened. If you're the other person, you're left to feel like an %$#!hole because someone keeps calling/writing/texting you (that's a timeline through the past 3 decades) and you just want your wasted time back and a good night's sleep. This is not a healthy love relationship. This is one in which you don't know what to do with each other when not making up or fighting.
These are a fun way to pass the time if you enjoy walking over a bed of hot tar and glass. Or, if you're luck, you'll be so busy "working" on your relationship that you won't realize how painful it was until months or years later, like when I had natural childbirth and realized later how insane I was for doing that, after the endorphins wore off.
So, happy Valentine's day...keep your heart in one piece, have fun, don't drink too much cheap wine and enjoy the chaos.