gym rats and me

Today, I had my first session with a professional personal trainer. Yikes! We talked about my weaknesses, my strengths, went over my diet, my BMI, my heartrate, my blood pressure and all the good stuff. The trainer showed me several machines to use and we experimented with them all, doing several reps to make sure I was doing them correctly and she even took film footage of my walking to show me how to "walk better". It as amazing to hear all the information she gathered. Some of it not so positive, but alot of positives- I am very strong, have alot of endurance, super flexible ( I already knew that from yoga) and my heart health is great. My biggest goal is work more of my back and core muscles for posture and to lose about 45 pounds. This is alot of weight, but we are going to do it within 3 months. I will keep you posted on this new challenge that I am very excited about. Cannot wait to be leaner and meaner!

On another note, I am going to post something soon about all the different kinds of people you find in gyms. It is interesting and great for people watching. Also, hand sanitizer is my new friend.
Ciao baby!

What do you want to do, young friend?

I wrote a huge post for this, with article quotes and all. But, neither the article nor the post represented my true feelings about the topic.
All I am going to write tonight is this (after writing 5 paragraphs of storylines earlier then deleting):
"You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something you want to say:
F. Scott Fitzgerald.
My favorite modern literature lad.

Do I really love my son? (title from Salon article posted below)

Dear Salt & Lime friends, if you are a parent or have friends who are new parents, this article is a lightbulb moment. Either way it's great reading! I love it when people write honestly about life, without feeling like they must only protray the best moments, as if life is always perfect. Great writing, although some hostile and supportive commentary follows it..

Do I really love my son?

Good Morning students!

Yet another day dropping off the child at school. I got reprimanded like a 10 year old by a staff member, who thought I was holding up the drive through line. But I wasn't, I swear teacher! She didn't understand that Nick is only 3.5 and has to wait until his teacher comes to get him out of the car (this is done with all pre-k kids for safety reasons). This process is done within about 5 seconds and there are two lanes for people to drive around you.

You're holding up the line, ma'am! Umm..please don't get my Irish temper going at 8am, it's not pleasant and I don't let it out often. In fact, it's been exiled to a far off cave in a far off island and only if bears come around to poke at it, does it come out raging. Don't poke the bear.

I need a bagel and coffee...you guys have a great day out there in the real world! It's a good day to be alive, even though some days begin better than others - I'm grateful for each grumpy morning.

Austin City Limits

Look, there's alot of crap to write about, and although it's all up in my head, I cannot always find the time to write about everything I think about. So forgive me, dear friends. It's not like I dont' know you have other things to do than read this crappy blog of mine.
Smiling....

SO, on Austin City Limits tonight, after all the football hoopla, My Morning Jacket was performing. Now, I am a new fan of theirs. I have heard of them, but with music the way it is now a days, speaking as an old fart, you have to do your research and not rely on some music "channel" to let you know what bands are cool or what to check out. As it has been the past years, we just try to forage through music sites and online zines to see the latest and greatest.
"My Morning Jacket" put on a great show. It was chillin, laid back, at times zippy, at times trippy. It had the current theme- the big full beard frontman, the crazy thin guy on keyboard, the wailing long haired dude on drums...but all in all their music was very nice, live. That's the key, live. I loved their somewhat old school "Chicago, Framton- like" style. But I had the clear thought that they would rather be seen as more "Phish" or "grateful Dead" style...they need to accept their true tone. Or, maybe their self-perception is just not my reality ;)
I truly like their music, their vibe. It is suitable for a long afternoon or a drive. They are clearly talented, and I can appreciate their various talent on different instruments. They tried hard during this live performance, to showcase their wide range of talent, and it was successful. I would suggest that the vocals, so high and tenor-ish, may not be for everyone, even myself who tends to like deeper voices, and growly rock. This is not music for someone who wants to "rock out" rather for someone who wants to "veg out". And both are ok by me. No details on songs or writers yet..I haven't had time yet tonight to sit more than 5 minutes at a time...such is life with two kids and phone calls to take care of!
Hope you are having a wonderful night. Life is never perfect - but moments can be. Please take a moment to put aside any cynicism you may have to remember those who lost their lives on Sept 11. It was such a big moment for me, just in the situation I was in at work (media) and how crazy it was afterwards...details like Tyndall being cordoned off with machine gun bearing men, and not being able to talk to my fiance for hours not knowing if anything had happened at their base. Little things compared to people going to work and getting blown up, or put into the ground as in PA or the Pentagon. People forget, or seem to want to forget..I don't understand this mentality. Why do so many Americans hate themselves, or feel unworthy of feeling patriotic? I have come to believe because there is no modern Vietnam, that some of our current generation must find reasons to "rebel" against their upper middle class Christian families for some reason, maybe in order to find purpose? I don't know, I get curious about this new facet of our society, but then I was like them for a brief moment in college, before I joined the real working world. I just wish people would give more respect to the country they live and work in.. if you don't like it- there are plenty of European countries that would be happy to take your American dollars.

Really, in the end, there are still some great bands going on here...Music- the last frontier.

Existentialism- a very brief summary

I am reading a book called "Ideas that Matter- The Concepts That Shape the 21st Century" by A.C. Grayling. It has been a great way to re-educate myself on the type of things you discover in formal education but tend to lose every day use of when you are surrounded by mundane domestic life or friends who don't really have time to discuss concepts that matter.
The book covers in neat little chapters, everything from nationalism, Luddites, Nazism, idealism, Judaism, Laissez-faire economics (my fave), logic, creationism, humanism, etc. It's a great reference book for ancient and modern religions, theories, science breakthoughs, modern economic processes, and even archeological finds that are important to our current civilization.
Anyway, I stumbled upon the idea of "Existentialism" which I have summarized below:

" 'Absurdity' is the key notion applied by existentialists to the human condition, meaning by it that there is no extrinsic meaning, purpose or value to human existence: it is 'absurd' in being wholly accidental and in itself pointless. As Camus put it ..."Man stands face to face with the irrational. He feels within him his longing for happiness and for reason. The absurd is born of this confrontation between the human need and unreasonable silience of the world'.
But this chracterization is not intended to be...so badly stated, pessimistic or nihilistic. Rather, it is the starting point for the claim that individuals must, in repsonse, create meaning in their lives by asserting the value of freedom, creativity, and love, and attributing dignity to human beings thus condemned to be self creating and self- valorizing. This is the basis of Existentialism. (This is also the root of the saying "the theater of the absurd" by Camus and is also found in works by Samual Beckett, Jean Genet and Pinter, whose characters are troubled and displaced, not attached to the a world that seems menacing to them...( this is because they have not taken it upon themselves to find meaning in the world that is indifferent to them; they must place themselves in the world, and creat their own purpose rather than waiting for the world to deem them worthy, or wait on another human to give them purpose).

Existentialism come svery close to atheist point of view that whatever meaning attaches to human existence is found in it or imposed on it by human beings themselves....because there is no purpose established for man 'outside'. Existentialism takes it a step further to include love, freedom dignity and creativity, to man's meaning, though Sartre describes the possesion of 'free will' as agony because it forces us to make choices in the face of existence's utter emptiness. But existentialism allows for 'authenticity' which means living according to one's beliefs, taking responsibility for the consequences of one's actions, and accepting the agonies of one's own freedom."

In a nutshell, this idea speaks to me, it is how I have viewed life for a long long time. That is why I get frustrated with people who cannot seem to take responsibility for their own actions, and tend to seek blame for their mistakes. On the other hand, I have to realize I can only be watchful of my own, and if we would all allow that our actions are our own, people may treat each other with more respect and be filled with more pride and dignity.

thanks, and a have a great Sunday. I have a second load of laundry to do, and then checking out our backyard for weeds and other varmits.

Salt

..I think, most presidents would have a hard time figuring out how to handle such an unprecendented event (Gulf Oil Spill), however in this day and age, it's hard to find people who will question anything.... and that in itself, is the beginning of the demise of this great country. People compare our US to the fall of Rome, yes, it is if we continue to condemn people who question any leader- even the ever so popular Barack Obama. It was ok to question Clinton and Bush, but not today's leader? why? Are you afraid of being called a racist? I've realized alot of people are very afraid, now, to speak up for what they want. And what they would like to question. If they voted for Obama, they are still afraid to question him. Why? If race isn't the answer, then what are they afraid of?
Fear is only set by others. You can react to their fear, or not react. I learned the past few years, that to react is to make others attack, and this raises more questions. Why so ready to attack? Why not talk about what the problems are and not attack others? Why not get so defensive because some don't like the current leader? Why even try to act like a peace loving person when you are angry, devisive and narrow minded? Or, maybe you are wanting peace among us all, but you find it hard to find the right way to communicate because of all the hateful dialogue on tv...and so you demure, and you don't let people know you're true feelings. Perhaps you don't give damn, God, I wish I was one of those. How easy not to care. How truly peaceful life would be... really. I admire those. I just cannot be one, it's not in my nature.

Find your voice, but realize we don't have to argue. We do not have to hate. We can talk, we can share information like some of my friends do on FB, where we share, argue a little but still respect each other. For some, this has been hard. I have had people argue and they solicit comments but really don't want to hear them at all. I find this passive aggressive style not at all positive or worth anything - they are looking for a fight, they throw out the bait, and then try to wrestle you to the ground with their dogma. There is no fun discussion, they just think they're right, so it's no fun, and they end up hurting feelings and look like jerks.

Do be open, do be kind. There are all types out there. Most are happy, most are secure in their beliefs, most would like to share a little, talk a little, but most don't want to be talked down to by some superior minded person who has an entitlement issue in their own mind.