Are you there God, it's me the NRA.

I believe in helping others. So I have used my editing and writing skills to help the NRA with an open letter to God (their Santa Claus) that they are more than welcome to use at any time, with no freelance credits or compensation required. Here you are, Merry Christmas NRA>

"Dear God,

It's me, the NRA. Please be with us in the time of great tragedy and need as our country mourns the loss of innocents lives lost due to another random act of violence. This latest act of violence came at the hand of an obviously confused and mentally unstable young man who killed his own mother before shooting innocent children and staff members in Newtown. We pray for your love at this time Lord.

Dear God, we pray that you help the American citizens remain calm in these times, not pointing fingers at a respectable and ingrained institution as ourselves but rather look inward for answers to these horrific crimes of late. We pray that you are there to guide our citizens to the path of common sense when reviewing how our country has turned into a place of random horrific acts of terror. Here are some humble suggestions that you may place into the hearts of our dear citizens who need direction from our leaders in these times of crisis:

1. The mother obviously did not love that poor child enough. We're not saying she deserved to be killed but surely more hugs and Sunday School would have kept that poor boy from using her semi automatic weapons  on her and all those innocent angels.

2. Bibles. Nough said. If only Bibles were read every night to our children then they would not feel the need to find our well hidden (in the closet upper right corner in shoebox) guns we keep in our homes in case of tiny chance of home invasion by robber or zombies from Hell, and use them on other citizens.

3. Mission trips. Sending our overly medicated young adults who are not fully diagnosed or understood to other countries to convert the heathens is not being done enough. More missions! Better yet - let them defend our great country in third world countries loaded to the max with all the guns they would ever want.

4. Intense gun safety training. This is the most obvious answer to these heinous crimes. Every child, upon getting their driver's license, should be tested and trained on all types of guns. Guns are only dangerous to people who don't know how to use them, or to people whose mothers did not love them enough (see #1 above).

Thank you Lord, for looking out for our best interests and protecting our right to bear arms.

Sincerely and Amen,

THE NRA."

"Guns, Baby Yeah."